when the moon is tired | ✓ finn wolfhard

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finn was exhausted. not physically but mentally exhausted from hiding everything he possibly wanted to say.

he wanted to start that part of his life. but she wasn't ready, and if she wasn't ready now; nothing would last long for them.

he hated to think it, but he knew that the percentage was high for kids to have split parents. that was tearing at him like some type of nightmare; he'd never want that life for his kids.

so despite everything that hes ever wanted with violet, he agrees to understand her decision. whatever it was.

"i'll wait" she pulls away, taking herself to her own spot away from him.
"i'll wait until the appointment on friday."

he sighs in pure relief, trying to contain it in order to not make it obvious.
"okay."

"i want to talk to the doctor, see what abortion doctor they recommend to get it done."

his heart practically destroys, nodding to his feet as she refuses to pay attention to him.

it stung, loving someone so much to give up happiness. give up happiness without a word of protest, for he couldn't tell her to jeopardize her own happiness.

"i guess picking out names was thinking too far ahead, huh?" he attempts to cheer her up by pretending to be on her side; it was one of the most painful things he's had to go through.

she shrugs,
"it was kind of nice to pretend like this would work for a while."

"yeah," he swallows harshly.
"to pretend that for once our lives weren't a fucking complicated mess."

"ironically." she mumbles.

violet was no idiot, she understood that finn thought he wanted to carry on. but in this particular scenario, she didn't think that he was thinking things through. she was trying to save him. his pride, his band, his fame, his life.

silently, she watches as he leaves her in the room on her own. violet contemplates following him, but chooses to leave him be on his own for a bit. she understood the way he needed to reflect, it was surely a lot to take in.

but she waits a long time, almost an hour as her things were all put away and her averaged body was covered in different clothing.

she sits down on the edge of their bed, sighing as she thinks perhaps he had left to get some air. so she decides to venture out into the kitchen to have a look.

to her right, the kitchen remains empty. but there he sat on the other side of the room. silently in the center of the long, dark couch; staring in front of him to the wall.

"finn?"

"hey, vi." he smiles to her gently, eyes dry for staring, what felt like, for an eternity.

"what are you doing?" she approaches closer to him.

he reaches to grab her hand, pulling her down besides him gently.
"sit."

she stares to him confused.
"finn, look if this is about-"

"just" he interrupts her,
"listen."

he nudges towards the dull toned lines, framed in a dark frame in front of them. in a way, he felt that the painting had changed his entire view of life; more than it had for violet.

"i know its not possible." he begins,
"but there is not a single part of me that believes you fell in love with this painting by chance."

"by memory."

"it has nothing to do with what we used to be. its what we will be, what we are."

"i thought it was just lines to you?" she stares at it too.

"you saw in that painting what the artist wanted you to see because thats what you wanted too. you wanted someone to not use you, but to be there for you in the mornings as well. the rest of your day, through rough patches because then you know that theyre there for the long run."

her eyes couldnt help but build in tears. thinking back to every morning, with tea in her hand. every day off being taught his passion through music. every chance being told how much she was loved, how beautiful she was.

as a wide eyed kid in new york, she didn't see a dream job through the painting. she saw the hope of having someone there in her forever. and how selfish she was for not understanding that it wasn't a job opportunity that mattered this whole time, it was the one supporting her through it.

hardly, she chokes out gently,
"what do you see?"

"a chaotic mess of stars, never in the same place as the time before. eager to have the attention focused on them, at how pale and curious they are. in the mess, theres always this small dot; like a planet but, bright and significantly smaller than anything else there. it never moves and in some way, despite the constant chaos, the stars never bother to touch it."
finally, he stares over to her.
"so i guess, i was an idiot to think it was just lines."

she wipes her eyes away, trying to find what he was talking about in the painting herself. her body almost panics as the first thing she saw was nothing; the first time it had happened like that.
"what does it mean?"

he stands, shrugging to leave her to think.
"i dont want you to change anything to make me happy. so, we can lie and say that for the both of us; theyre just lines."

1480 wc

~ what do you think it means??