Please // Matty Healy

the ninth

"Don't make me beg," I pouted playfully.

"Oh but I love the sound," Matty teased, joining me in the hall.

________

I stirred slightly, not remembering having fallen asleep. My eyes fluttered opened as I realized we were no longer at the venue, but rather in a car, though it was too dark to make out any faces.

"Matty?" I called, completely disoriented.

"Shhh, I'm right here poppet," his soothing voice spoke as his arms wrapped around me, cradling me into his chest, "go back to sleep, we're almost at the flat"

When I woke up, it was morning, and I was alone. My head still felt heavy as I climbed out of bed, clad in my outfit from the night before. I stumbled out of the room groggily, hoping to find a bathroom to sort myself out. The flat was mainly silent, no sign of the boys, some general activity in the living room. 

"What time is it?" I asked aloud, a girl with long blonde hair perking her head up from the couch.

"It's 12:55, sweets" she spoke, eyeing me. I figured she must have been a groupie since I didn't recognize her from the crew.

"Darling your makeup looks awful, what did Matty do to you last night?" she smirked devilishly. 

"I don't know, probably tucked me in or something," I shrugged. She chuckled seemingly in disbelief as I rubbed my eyes.

"You mean out of all the girls that were trying to get at him, he chose you, and you lot didn't even shag?" she asked.

"We were both high," I shrugged again, rubbing my eyes, "he said he wanted me to mean it,"

"Bollocks, Matty doesn't care about that, he only wants sex. He must not like you or something," she reasoned, shooting me a sympathetic look. Like I needed her sympathy.

Yet, as I made my way to the bathroom, her words stuck with me. What if he didn't like me after all? What if he realized that after last night and that's why he didn't want to do anything. I felt embarrassed by the way I had acted high. I should have never let myself lose control like that, not if it was going to make him hate me. 

I splashed water on my face, removing the smudged makeup from last night before pulling my hair back with a spare hair tie found on the sink. I navigated the flat in search of my bag to change into fresh clothes. I slipped into my ex-boyfriend's navy blue jumper I loved so much, watching the fabric fall down onto my thighs like a dress. 

Memories from last night came flooding back. All of the messages from Elias. Shit. I needed to text him. 

13:01

Jess: I'm sorry. I'm safe, I promise.

I quickly exited out of the message as soon as it sent, anxious to see his response. I felt trapped like I had nobody to turn to anymore. At home, Elias would probably never speak to me again. But here, the girl had a good point. Matty probably didn't like me, and he probably regrets ever having me come to Southampton. 

I paced around the room a bit, the noise of my own thoughts slowly driving me mad. I invited myself into the living room, sitting down in the empty loveseat. 

"Welcome back," the blonde spoke to me, smirking again, "you're pretty cute when you're makeup isn't all smudged. Too bad Matty doesn't see it"

My face fell.

"Hey babe, don't look so sad. With a pretty face like yours, I know you'll find someone. Besides, you can't get too attached to a rockstar like Matty anyway. It's never more than a one night stand."