A Walk On Ice

33: Let It Go

Nevertheless, I endured the cold and loneliness all those years when my mom was gone. Being back here brings back horrible times and memories that does nothing but to cause a slight feeling of fear to crawl into my nerves.

The fear of returning to that obnoxious cycle.

"Carroll, my dear," my father spoke with ever so charming tone.

If I were a fool, I would have fallen for it. I came here to give him a chance to explain, but I still have my guard up. Never let it down, especially with someone who betrayed someone else's trust, because there is likely a chance that the person will do it again with pleasure.

Turning around with my lips in a straight line, I faced my father. "Greetings, father." I said with a serious yet hinted with respect voice.

The man chuckled. "Why are you so formal, Carroll? I'm not used to–"

"Well father, I have always been like this. How should I act around my father? Do you want me to be rude and disrespectful around you, father?" I interrupted.

Taken a back, my father's blue eyes widened. Instead of reminding me a particular pair of eyes in the same hue, his eyes reminded me of how blue I was when I was still stuck in this house that feels like cage up until now. Albeit there are no restraints, I feel my neck constricting as the air is being knocked out of me every seconds pass that I spend here.

Not so homey.

His voice abruptly turning cold and dead serious, father stated as if to reprimand me, "I didn't mean it that way, Carroll." Now this is the Caesar that I'm looking for and known. The beast has finally resurfaced and showed himself. What a hideous beast my father is.

Putting my weight on my other foot as I crossed my arms over my chest, I questioned, "Get to the point, father. I have got to be somewhere more important than here." That somewhere being by Melissa's side. She needs me now more than ever, and I do not desire to let her down in any ways possible.

"And where could that place be?" Father queried, his voice turning sharp, with his bushy brows furrowing together as his hands fell into the depths of the pockets of his pants. "In that abomination's house!?" His voice raised as he let those words out.

I could not stop my hands from clenching upon hearing those words come out of his mouth. How dare he..

"So that is what this is all about?" I raised a challenging brow. "Summoning me just to talk nonsense? Tell me what it is you need from me, father. Be straightforward as you are."

He sighed and looked down before bringing a pair of sharp blue eyes to look back at my sharper icy emerald orbs, that are already glaring right through his soul. I don't give a damn if he is my father. If he is not going to accept who my heart chooses to love, then I might as well forget that I even have a father.

I can't deal with another person who is homophobic or who wants me to be "normal" according to the norms. I want to let myself free after all the years I isolated it from the world. I want to be able to finally express who I really am. I wan to show everyone that I'm more than just an ice queen as they know me as.

I'm sick and tired of living just to please these fucking people. If I were born just to please the living hell out of other people, then my mom shouldn't have bothered carry me in her for nine months.

Clearly, my father will not be the one to put a halt at me being free.

"Stop seeing that...poor excuse for a human being."

My lips quirked up at that. "She has a name, it's Melissa, and it's even more beautiful than your personality, father."

A hard palm made contact with my soft and pale cheek which caused a smirk to appear on my lips. "And that is a fact," I added. "Why should I stop seeing her though? I thought you wanted me to be happy with my life?"