Allow Me To Explain

Introducing me.

Hi. I'm Ross. This is my life.

I am a 22 years of age. Yeah. I know. I am ANCIENT.

Anyways, I ran away and bought a small ugly house at the edge of the woods. I live with my two friends, Forest and Brooklyn.

Forest is...25 I think? I'm not sure. He's older than me though. He is kinda odd, but I wouldn't say that to his chiseled Asian face. Yeah. He's really hot, but it's a shame he's a fucking hetero. He's really into sports and whatnot. He's always trying to get me to play sports with him, but I say he will have to pay me with kisses and cuddles. That scares him away so I don't have to exercise.

Brooklyn is 20. (Gosh, she's not even old enough to drink. I am just realizing this now.) She's really spunky and fun-loving....and really into me. Ew. I thought I made it clear that I liked guys, but apparently not. Anyways, Brooklyn really enjoys making annoying vlog shit and always is shoving a camera in my face. Oh, I forgot to mention the makeup. She really likes to practice on me. I don't mind too much. Her hair matches her personality: Bright pink and all over the fucking place.

Okay, so now that I have introduced my housemates, I need to introduce myself.

I grew up in a Christian household and decided it wasn't for me, so I up and left. Good for me, huh? It's okay, my family probably won't miss a rebel like me.

I learned from past experiences that no one really appreciates the time you invest in them. Life lessons for you, kids!

Earlier, I might have made it sound like I don't ever exercise, but I do. Really. I bike, hike, and leave the ugly little house for long periods of time. It worries the shit out of Brooklyn and Forest, but they need to understand that I need time to myself sometimes.

You might be wondering what I do and where I go on these long periods of time? Well, I literally just hike somewhere and stay there until I run out of food. Then I scuttle my ass back to the ugly house, take a shower and sleep. Satisfied? I hope so.