Again

My mind is getting darker

My skin is all healed

The urges get stronger

The nights get longer

My skin itches

Longing for attention

My dark mind knows what to do

My broken heart wont let it happen

I run my fingers over scars

To remember the pain

To remember why I stopped

The darkness wants to take over

The pain in my heart

It cries to be fixed

But yet again

I want to bleed

I want to feel like im alive

My dark mind gets darker

Horrid thoughts fill my head

Demons scream

And scratch at my mind

Tearing me to pieces

I try to control my urge

So hard to ignore

The pain gets worse

My soft touch over the scars

Turns into an itch

Scrapes form

But still no blood

No feeling of relief

Just pain

My awful mind

Tells awful things

To make me cave and get a knife

But I know better

I cant yet

Not until the party is over

I need to hide what I do

No one can know I'm bad again

My dark mind still works wonders

Hard to control what I do

terrifying demons plague my mind

My heart is shattered

Tears always fall

No comfort to be found

I want to see my blood again

I want to feel something

My darkened mind takes my peace

I long for my sweet release

I want to die I want to cry

I want to feel the blood flow from my veins

Again I am here

wanting to see my own blood

My horrid demons claw at me

They take away my stability

My heart cries

My mind aches

All I want is to be at peace again

I want to cut again

Why can't I do both

Why must I care what my friends all think

I just want to bleed again

I want my mind to be sane again

My arms are destroyed by my scratching

My blood pokes out

through small tears in my skin

I hate this feeling of harming myself

I will not scratch any more

Pain in my heart and mind

No relief can be found

Knowing I did all this to myself

I hate myself

I hate this feeling

Again my horrid thoughts

So horrid they created demons

Demons who will never let me rest

Rest I long for to get over this

Years of peace

Gone because I long to cut again

~~~~~~~

*Editing