twenty one nights

02 | ɪsʟᴀɴᴅ.

emptiness, jisung learned, was an inherently easy thing to conceal. over the years, people have learned to interpret sadness and any other types of unwelcome emotion in the way others act. they've learned to realise when someone is sad and when someone is happy- often times relying on facial expressions, body language and signs of unusual behaviour.

yet jisung felt the pain inside.

it was like a a gaping hole growing within him at an alarming rate; one that he'd forcibly tried to fill with momentary distractions and hopes of a better tomorrow. yet being the fool that he was, he'd stumbled into that hole, falling for what felt like eternity as he remained trapped within the cages of his own truth.

his friends for years hadn't even bothered to peel off all those layers to hear his muted cries from within. instead, they've grown to become content with the fragments of himself that jisung chose to plaster up, ignoring the dark void that actually laid beneath it.

which is why jisung was surprised when someone finally did.

it had been about two weeks since lee minho had paraded into jisung's class with that sly grin etched onto his face; the title of a scholar engraved onto his back as the expectations of his teachers weighed him down. yet he remained unfazed, instead slipping up when a certain boy chose to treat him differently.

the latter had expected minho to slowly distance himself from him once he'd met other people-to allow the close knitted ball of their relationship to eventually unravel-but it seemed as if he had tied it with a knot himself and included jisung's other friends in the process.

thus, they sat at their usual lunch table with jisung's friends; two lost souls in a sea of beating hearts sitting right across from each other, yet still feeling as if they stood on an island of their own- forever separated by the endless expanse of the roaring sea.

jisung was only halfheartedly listening to the current conversation, constantly running his hands through his strands of dark brown hair out of an indistinguishable agitation. he knew he was there, for he felt all types of sensations greeting his tentative form; the chilly air caressing his cheeks, the buoyant voices of his friends ringing in his ears, and even the pressure of his fingers carding through his scalp as he felt the sensation from both sides.

however, he found it hard to grasp the fact that he didn't feel like he was there at all.

although his body remained anchored to his seat, his consciousness was elsewhere; dwelling within the crevices of his brain as fleeting thoughts rushed pass by. he felt like a stranger that gazed upon a scene fuelled with power and energy- an outcast that could never mimic the movement of the nameless faces that only spared him a single glance.

a mere glance- and that was it. it was what most people in the world ever really hoped for; just a sliver of acknowledgement to further ground the importance of their existence, no matter how foolish or absurd their cravings might be.

but what people failed to notice was the difference between seeing and looking.

seeing was when you'd give that loner sitting in the corner a single glance, acknowledging their presence for only a split second before it eventually dissolved from your memory.

looking was when you'd truly acknowledge the plethora of scars adorning their wrists, the colourful bruises that painted their faces in varying degrees, and the black cloud of dread looming before them; a storm that had trapped it's prey right in it's very eye, hailing down a fury of agony and suffering upon their helpless form.

in that moment, jisung's friends were only seeing, processing the information presented before them but never digging deeper for the truth.

but sitting right across from him, standing on an island of his own, minho saw.

and he looked.

being uncertain of the full extent of his power, the other boy simply smiled back; one laced with so much rawness and truth within it that it made jisung's veins glow amass the pale expanse of his skin, dragging a lazy fire to slowly burn his insides which he gladly welcomed. it was akin to a simple form of communication-nothing more than a few glances and a tiny smile-that still managed to reassure the younger boy that he was, in fact, alive.

that he was there.

and so was minho; no matter how far he may have seemed.

thus, jisung looked back-eyes locking and cheeks flushing-and for a split second, it no longer felt like he was an island away.

♡｡