CRUSH CULTURE!

FEELIN' THAT NOSTALGIA

THREE YEARS AGO

taehyung stared at jeongguk who was fumbling and fiddling too much, even for his normally reserved self.

there had to be more of a reason as to why they met up at the back of the school at the sakura tree. the one where people say that if you confess to your crush under, they'll say yes and — oh. that's why they were here. he giggled at the thought, attracting jeongguk's attention, "do you have something to say to me, ggukie?"

jeongguk startled, bambi eyes directing at everything else, but taehyung himself, "huh? ah, i mean — uh, yes! i do..." jeongguk cussed to himself, frustrated that he was tripping over his words so soon, ruffling the back of his hair. "i want to..." his voice flattered at the end, taehyung straining his ears to hear him.

"you want to...?" taehyung questioned, hoping he would continue his sentence.

jeongguk coughed a few times, trying to stall for time, while taehyung grinned at him, sparkles in his eyes. jeongguk scratched his head sheepishly, "uhm, actually, you know what? nevermind, it was stupid anyways. let's go meet with the hyungs."

he tried to pushing past taehyung, only to be gently grabbed by the wrist — the hold light enough for him to pull away, yet firm enough to stop him (somewhat, at the least. jeongguk could've shaken taehyung off, like a speck of dust with the difference in their arms, despite being younger).

taehyung shook his head pelutantly, whining, "no, ggukie, i wanna know now! you can't just leave me hanging!"

jeongguk laughed nervously, chewing at his bottom lip (a habit of his), "well..."

"well...?" taehyung rocked back and forth on his heels, listening.

jeongguk took a deep breath, before spitting out his confession in rapid fire, "well, i wanted to tell you that i like you more than a friend, ever since, we were like ten. but i also didn't want to tell you because i knew you didn't feel the same way and treat me like a brother. that's fine by me, if that's what you want. but i really want to be something more than that, only if you're comfortable with it, but you're probably not. and i'll understand if you don't want to do that."

his rambling grew more panicked, limbs more antsy. he yanked taehyung in a tight embrace, squeezing his muscular arms around taehyung's waist, "but taehyungie, please don't hate me! we can act like this thing never happened, if you don't feel the same. i can't promise you that i'll lose feelings for you because i could never do that. i could try for you, if that's what you really really wanted! but please, don't hate me, taetae! i wouldn't be able to live with myself, if you did!"

"hey, hey, hey, calm down. who said anything about hating you?" taehyung chuckled softly, the deep rumble calming jeongguk, along with the hands gently carding through his hair.

"uh — well, i did, taehyungie," jeongguk's bunny teeth peeked out, his nose scrunching cutely. "weren't you listening to me?" he tilted his head, confused.

    taehyung box-smiled, the unique shape never failing to soften jeongguk's heart, "of course, i was. you confessed that you liked me. and guess what? i like you too."

    "you do?" jeongguk's eyes widened, giving him the classic 'shook' face.

    taehyung giggles at his awe-struck expression, "yup, ever since that game of spin the bottle."

    jeongguk suddenly pulled himself away, turning up his nose, "that means i liked you longer. i'm going to be the one spoiling you because i have more love to give." he ignored taehyung's protest of 'no, i should be the one to spoil you, you big baby!', in favor of grabbing him by the hand and skipping towards their awaiting friends.

    everything was going great for them, a couple fights, more than a few misunderstandings, jealousy problems, but nothing too major. they lasted from the beginning of freshman year to sophomore year. if taehyung was being honest, he hoped that they would never break up. he wanted to last through high school, college and in the much later future. it seems like taehyung was the only one who thought that, though.

    "taehyung, let's break up."

    taehyung had stared at jeongguk, in shock. what happened in twenty-four hours? just the day before, they went on a date and it was perfect. what changed?

    jeongguk had simply shrugged, not meeting his eyes, "it's not working out. i'm not happy and i think it's for the best."

    taehyung shook his head, "quit playing games, jeongguk. it's not funny."

    jeongguk gave him a cold glare, the one he had only seen directed at others. never had taehyung thought that one day he'd be on the other end of it. jeongguk scoffed, "if we're talking games, the only game i played here, was you. goodbye, kim taehyung."

    he had pushed past taehyung, forcing his shoulder back, pushing taehyung off-balance. taehyung had never been more humiliated, being treated like that in front of the whole school. from that day on, he vowed he'd never let jeon jeongguk get the best of him.

   nonetheless, not a day goes by when taehyung doesn't wonder where they went wrong and why he hasn't lost those feelings over the course of three years.