L U C I D D R E A M S | a bts fanfiction

1

"Shut the fuck up Madi! I thought we were best friends! How could you even come up with a fucking excuse!?"

I clenched my palms at my sides. I couldn't look anywhere but my feet. The loud shouting had started to pool a crowd around us, bringing the last person I wanted to see.

"What's going on? Haesoo?" Jimin pushed through the crowd, his concerned eyes falling on my empty face.

No... I don't want him to find out... Not like this...

Haesoo looked at my bitterly, hurt and anger mixed in her eyes. But Haesoo didn't want to be the one who tore that vibrant bubbling smile of Jimin's face. She would leave it up to the monster that caused it.

"Why don't you ask her?" Haesoo wiped the last of the tears that trickled down her cheeks, spinning off the balls of her toes and disappearing into the crowd.

Jimin turned to me, innocent confusion in his eyes. I couldn't even look at his face, not after everything that happened. I was just about to lose one of the best things that had ever happened to me, all because of stupidity.

I opened my mouth, but no words were coming out. My throat started to close and my ears started to tune out all sound. All I could hear was my heart racing in anticipation and fear. I was trapped within my anxiety. A prison of my own making.

Jimin looked around, seeing all the unwanted attention we had attracted. Practically the whole school was watching. Jimin's gaze turned to you and softened. He needed to know if you were okay.

I was pulled out of my cage when I felt Jimin's warm soft hands wrap around my skin. The hands that I hoped to hold for the rest of my life. No. I can't do this, I can't -

Jimin dragged the both of you away from everyone. He took you somewhere quiet, the beautiful courtyard garden behind campus where he had first met you.

Haesoo's words repeated in my head from our fight earlier.

"I was in love with Jimin first, he was my childhood best friend - but I gave him to you because I wanted you to be happy! Then I found someone, someone who I loved who loved my back, and you tried to take him too! What's so wrong with me being happy!?"

I could still hear the pain in her voice. This was all my fault, all my fault... I... Can't do this to Jimin. He doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve me.

I had a friend who was willing to sacrifice her happiness for me, I had a lover who was willing to sacrifice everything for me. And I fucked it all up.

"J-Jimin... I need to tell you something."

It felt as the world had gone into slow motion. Time moved like molasses, a painful punishment making the worst mistake of my life last even longer.

"I - at Angela's party. I took a few shots - and, in the morning, I -"

Before I could continue, a voice burst into the courtyard. I recognized that voice. It was Yoongi.

Yoongi looked at me in a mix between disgust and hatred. It hurt, the way he looked at me. But there was pain in Yoongi's eyes as well, pain that I caused.

"You haven't told him yet, have you?"
Yoongi bit on the edge of his lips, frustration making its way to his eyes. Yoongi couldn't understand how you could have done what you did and not even own up to the person who deserves it the most.

Yoongi knew you made a mistake, everyone does at some point. But what he hated the most was when people didn't own up to them. And from what he's seen so far, you're stalling, making excuses. Selfishly buying time to keep Jimin at your side while he clung to you ignorantly.

"Jimin. Yesterday, Madi went to Angela's party. She got drunk and attempted to have sex with Taehyung, while drunk Taehyung believed she was Haesoo." Yoongi left after that, he couldn't bear to see Jimin's reaction. That was only for Madi to see.

No pain in the world could even compare... To what I saw. Jimin's beautiful smile leaving his face. The shock turning to pain and confusion. I could still see him processing it, his expression twisting into the pure form of hurt and betrayal.

"... Madi, this isn't true, right? This can't be true. Madi, this isn't happening, right? Yoongi's just messing around, right? Madi, this isn't happening -"

Jimin's muttering halted once his eyes caught sight of the slight bruise on the side of my neck. His shaking hand reach out to the color of my shirt, slowly pooling it down to reveal a trail of hickeys.

That was when Jimin finally broke.