The Playground

Chapter 1- The day after the nightmare- Louise (PoV)

I woke up, terrified. Another nightmare about her. They just keep coming. I get up and stretch. My wild olivaceous eyes are all watery. I don't know why this keeps happening.

I walk out the door of my large dark room. I had painted it ebony last year with stars all over the ceiling. After she left me all alone. Stranded.

The ship sailed, and you left me. All alone.

On my lonely island without one word.

All alone. Stranded.

On my lonely island.

Again, and again.

I know your career matters,

but I wish I mattered more.

I wish you could hold me in your arms.

And whisper in my ear how much you love me.

I wish I could feel your touch against my skin.

I miss you, Pamela.

Matthew was supposed to arrive soon. We had planned on going shopping. Just to get my mind off everything.

I walked into the bathroom and smiled at myself in the mirror. I looked horrifying. My eyes were all rosy, my lips looked swollen and azure. My long blonde hair was tied up in a braid, not the long beautiful braids though, oh no, no, no, my braid was long and tight. It hurt. I untied my braid almost immediately and looked at my long luscious hair. It was like my blonde had faded. I brushed it out with my green comb and almost instantly felt better. This made me think of my mother. She always used to brush my hair out. A tear left my eye.

Stop leaving me.

I need you.

I know you're hurting but don't leave.

Do not leave.

I've lost enough tears.

I hate this.

I hate this so much.

I want you to wipe my tears away.

I need you.

I miss you, Pamela.

I was wearing a long sweater, which almost looked like a dress. I wanted to shower. I hadn't washed myself in days. I took off my sweater and looked at myself in the mirror. Not a fan of undergarments, so I just don't wear them. I winked at myself in the mirror. This made me laugh. There I was.  Loneliness still overwhelming me, yet her I was winking. Like as if nothing had ever happened. I hopped into the shower, which had been running for a few seconds. The water was now very warm against my fragile, frozen skin. It was almost like, if one drop of hot water touched my skin, I would just break. Instead of breaking, my skin tensed up and almost instantly relaxed once I felt the water on my chest. It was so very nice. I never had very large breasts. It was nice though, I liked it. Pamela used to always complain about how much her back hurt. I always told her that I could give her a back rub. She always smoothly accepted. Pamela was so cool. So, chill. Almost as chill as my skin before this warm shower.

I got out of the shower and changed rapidly into some blue overalls and a T-shirt. Just a plain white T-shirt. Then, I put on my flip flops and walked outside, locking the door on my way out. I waited patiently for Matthew.

Patient, so patient.

"Stay patient Louise. I will be back soon.

I promise.

I promise I love you, Louise.

I think I always will.

I have to do this.

My family is counting on me.

You know that. You know that I wouldn't leave if it wasn't for them.

You know that don't you?

Don't be selfish."

I miss you, Pamela.

"Hey Louise, get your head out of the clouds!" I looked up, startled. "Haha, you look like you just saw a ghost or something." Matthew was smiling down at me. Matthew was a pretty big dude. He had dyed his hair a pastel type of pink last week and it looked really fantastic. He always painted his nails yellow and put little flowers on them. He wore extreme blue colored contacts and wore a striped pink shirt with some blue overalls as well. He was literally a beautiful giant. He actually taught me how to do my makeup when we were really young. "Yeah sorry, Mat." I smiled up at him.

We got into his literal barbie car and started listening to Cavetown, our classic go-to band. I absolutely loved indie. "How did you sleep," asked Matthew, concerned. He knew that I wasn't doing too good lately. "Oh, the usual you know. I slept fine," I lied. I didn't want to talk about this today. I hate letting people know about how I feel. I hate feeling vulnerable. "Mhm," he said "I totally believe you." We both started laughing. "I'm not an idiot, Louise. I will always be here for you. You know that, right?" I nodded at him. "I'm sorry, you know I'm hurting. It's been a year and I'm still not okay. Guess it doesn't help that today was supposed to be our 7-year anniversary." I started to sob. I wanted to control all this, but I couldn't. I missed her. More than anything else in the world.

More than anything else in the world.

Baby come back home.

I miss you.

I need you.

Where are you?

I wonder where you're stationed.

I wonder if you found anyone new.

And it's so painful.

More than anything else in the world.

Matthew then went past the playground. The playground. Our playground. "Matthew, stop!" Matthew rapidly stopped the car. "What is it, Louise?" Matthew asked, frightened. "Nothing, nothing. It's fine. I'm sorry." Matthew sighed and smiled at me. "Okay, you've lost your mind." he then started the car once again and sped away.