To Be A Hero

Chapter 44: Just One Yesterday

I step out of the stalls, grabbing my old clothes but not throwing them away to be washed. These were just my night clothes, and unlike my running shirt and pants, they don't get washed after every use. They get washed after every other use, so I carry them back to the dorms, placing it, along with everything else, under my bed-the bed that I never use.

I sit down, silent and wondering what it is I should do to. I've already done my job for the day in helping with breakfast, and I have no runs scheduled. The only problem with free days is figuring out what it is I want to do, considering the fact that I can't hang out with Sam since he's with Paula and Maxine and baby Sarah at the moment. I could try to find Owen or Jody, but knowing Jody she's knitting presents for everyone, and she'd kill me if I saw my gift before Christmas.

I don't exactly want to hang around Owen... not after he destroyed those papers. He didn't actually do anything terrible by ripping up those notes, but he... didn't want to accept the truth, so he just threw away the papers and acted as if they didn't exist. Something about that just didn't settle right with me. Still doesn't. No, right now I just don't feel like hanging out with him. Going on runs together is one thing, but hanging out...

I think I'll just go to the library. I'm sure there's something that will entertain me for a little while.

So I stand, leaving the dorms without a word, heading towards the library. I pass the school on the way there, and I see Penelope playing on the playground with Carena and Molly.

I stop for a second, watching as they play hopscotch together. Molly has a bit more trouble, since she's the youngest, but Carena helps her out.

I remember when I was sent out to rescue Molly. She was a toddler then... I hate to think what might have happened to her if I hadn't have found her, or if Ed hadn't chased after me on his motorbike.

She would have been like the zombies in that toy store... She would have been a dead child with a never ending scream on her lips. I don't like to think about those kids, how they died. They must've been so afraid, so alone.

They were innocent...

I sigh, looking back at the three playing hopscotch. At least... at least we saved one. At least we got to Molly.

With a small smile that I force for no one but myself, I head onward, eager to get out of the snow. I've gotten used to the cold a bit more here, but I still don't like it. If it's not warm, I don't like it.

Once I reach the library, I do a quick walk around the aisles to make sure no one is here-not that I plan on doing anything bad, but when there's no one here, I don't have to worry about being judged by what I choose to read.

I find a book fairly quickly, this one having to do with a mermaid princess whose kingdom is in danger, and she has to save it. Seems interesting enough, even though I think it's for children-or at least, it's for people under the age of sixteen.

Is that going to stop me from reading it though?

Nope.

I get comfortable in the chair I always choose, and start to read. Again, I start to lose myself in the pages, falling faster and harder with each word I read. The swirls of ink and letters make the rest of the world fade away, only if just for a little while.

It's nice, seeing someone else be the hero for once. It's nice, reading a book that actually shows being a hero isn't easy, that sacrifices must be made, and most times the scales aren't tipped in your favor. I'm pleasantly surprised since this is intended for pre-teens and younger teenagers.

The author is right, though. It's not easy being a hero. It's not easy doing the right thing. It's not easy being selfless.

I like to think of myself as selfless. At least, I'm not selfish, or as selfish as I want to be. I suppose choking Tom, even if I didn't kill him, was a bit selfish. But I wanted to kill him and I didn't, so I'm not as selfish as I could have been, or as I wanted to be.