You took my heart, could I please have it back?

[15] You took my heart, could I please have it back?

I was startled when he gave me a hug, and I hugged him back. I felt comfortable hugging him, just as a friend, nothing more. It kind of gave me a sense of relief. When it became a little uncomfortable practicality wise, we both stood up to hug and I felt closer to him than anyone else.

I eventually pulled away and looked at the floor, sighing.

"Have some breakfast, Lizzy," he said gently, tilting my chin up to look at him. I averted my eyes to the floor sadly, but he went over and made me some toast. Sometimes he reminded me so much of his late father.

I sat at the bar stool and watched him spread butter and jam onto the toast, then cut the slices in half. I was really grateful to have a friend like him; I don't know what I'd do without him. He placed the plate of toast in front of me and encouraged me to eat, so I glumly lifted a slice and at some. In the end I finished one slice of bread, the other one still sat on my plate, cut in half.

I thought I could relate.

On one side, I wanted to keep going for Alex and all the people who were nice to me, who helped me, even though there were only a few. I wanted to do it for Neil, who had died because of my father, and I wanted to do it for Mrs Black for being so kind to me when her son was not.

But on the other side, I just wanted to give up. It all seemed hopeless, trying to fight against my dad when he got progressively worse, constantly drinking, drowning his pain, raising fists against me that I could not block.

It seemed hopeless, trying to fight against Nicola when she had friends, people to back her up, people to gang up on me. And it seemed hopeless fighting, mentally, against James, when he was so bipolar and impossible to work out...

In some ways, I was very similar to that slice of toast.

Alex noticed my prolonged silence, and looked at me, concerned. I sighed and shook my head, trying to ignore those morbid thoughts floating in my head.

"Let's go play some music," suggested Alex. "I'll stay here all day, if you want. Then we can go to my house together,"

I frowned as I remembered he had talked me into going to his house.

"Alright, then. Let's go," I said sullenly, and slid off my barstool, leading the way to the attic. Once we were in, I picked up my guitar and looked at him. "What d'you want me to play?" I asked, resting my foot on the stool and placing the guitar on my knee.

"Hallelujah," he replied easily, coming to sit next to me. "I heard you were very good in music," I blushed, strumming the first chord.

"I wasn't brilliant," I said, then started the song.

When I finished, as usual, Alex was staring at me with a mix of wonder and awe on his face. I couldn't refrain from rolling my eyes - why did he act like I was a freaking goddess?!

"What?!" I asked exasperatedly. "I'm not that good, stop staring at me. You'll catch a fly."

Almost comically, he closed his mouth and he too blushed. I rolled my eyes again and looked at my guitar to hide my own forthcoming blush. I swallowed hard and began playing a song my mother had taught me when I was 7.

I finished and sighed, remembering the day she had first started teaching me that song.

{"I wanna learn that one, mum!" I said, jumping up and down as she finished playing her song. She laughed at my childishness.

"Alright, come here then," she said, holding her arms out so as to lift me up. I ran into her arms, a huge smile on my face, and sat on her lap as she went through the first few chords with me.