No Regrets [Jack Barakat]

I'm having my doubts

"Okay guys, just 2 more minutes" Tim informed us. I took a deep breath and tried not to be so nervous. "We're gonna rock this fucking city!" Jerry screamed and held his arms in the air. I smiled before they all walked on stage and began to play the intro to our first song. I walked to the side of the stage and waited until it was my turn to run out. I took the mic and began to jump around. "New York city! Are you fucking ready?" I screamed into the mic. The crowd screamed and jumped. Through the whole set the crowd danced and jumped like we're the main act. I was incredible. I tried to make some silly jokes with Ian even if I didn't feel like joking. But I'm a musician, I have to be "professional" all the time. But it felt awesome to sang my feelings to the people out there. "I really have to say, you guys are fucking incredible!" I complimented the crowd. They screamed pretty loud. "Really! I mean we are just the supporting act and you guys are jumping and screaming like we're the main act!" Ian complimented them, too. "Okay, New York city, this is our last song. And it means a lot to me, it's maybe the most honest song I've ever written. So, I hope you like it. It's called 'Myself'" I said and the song began, which was about my family. It was about all that things my parents said to me and taught me. In the chorus I sing '"Being yourself is wrong" is what my Mom said. But don't listen to her like I did!". During singing I realized that I cried. I was really crying. But I tried to hide that from the crowd and my band mates but I think it didn't work. "Thank you all so fucking much for this incredible night! All Time Low is next! Enjoy!" I screamed into the mic and walked off stage. "That was fucking awesome!" Bob said and sat down at the couch. "Val, you okay?" Steve worried as I whipped my tears away. "Yeah, I okay. It was just the song" I explained and tried to smile again. I took one of the water bottles on the table and drank the whole bottle. I was really thirsty after this show. "Hey guys, this show was amazing!" Alex, the singer of All Time Low complimented us. "Thanks, dude" Jerry thanked. "Are you okay, Val? I saw you were crying during the last song" Alex worried. "Yes, I'm okay. It's just a pretty personal song" I explained and smiled at him. "Okay. We gotta go now and play our show" Alex said and waved us. Jack looked all the time at the floor and looked pretty ashamed. It seems like he's sorry for what he said to me at the lake. But he never looked at me or said anything. So, the band walked on stage and the crowd went crazy. Me and my band mates sat backstage and listened to them. Sometimes Bob and Jerry talked about how awesome they are. After the 3rd song they paused a bit and the crowd cheered like hell. "Did you enjoy No Regrets? They're pretty awesome, aren't they?" Alex said into the mic. "Valentine was really emotional in the last song because this song means a lot to her. It tells her story. And I have to admit that she's a really strong person and she's going through a tough time right now. But I want to tell you Val, you can fucking do that!" Alex said and turned around to look backstage. I couldn't believe what Alex just said. My band mates smiled at me and it seems like they kinda knew that. "C'mon Val! Come on stage!" Alex yelled. I slowly got up from the couch and walked on stage. Rian came down from his drums and hugged me. Then Zack put his bass down and hugged me, too. They both still hugged me when Alex and Jack run over to me and wrapped their arms around me. So 4 guys were hugging me right then. After some minutes they let me go again. The crowd cheered as I walked backstage again. And backstage I got another group hug from my band mates."Guys, is today kinda the hug-Valentine-day or something like that?" I asked confused even though the hugs felt awesome. "We just want you to know that we're here for you, all the time" Ian explained when they let me go again. "You're all so cute, seriously" I said and could feel how the tears run down my cheeks. But this time those were tears of happiness and not sadness. "Don't cry, sugar!" Bob yelled and hugged me again quickly. As Bob let me go again I heard how my stomach was making weird sounds. "Can we go and get some food? I'm pretty hungry" I asked and they had to laugh. "Okay, you're really gettin' better" Ian said and put an arm around my shoulders. We drove to a restaurant and ordered our food. I know why Ian said that I'm really getting better when I said I was hungry. Because I didn't eat for days on tour. I just never had appetite and felt like eating something and of course they were all pretty worried about me, because I clearly lost much weight. But all those words from Alex and all the hugs cheered me a bit up. And I really wanted to get better. Anyway, our food came and I finally could eat something. The guys looked very happy that I was eating something and if I'm honest, I'm happy, too about that. After an hour the guys from All Time Low joined us. "Hey Alex. Thanks about that what you said on stage" I thanked him as he sat next to me. "You're welcome" he said and smiled at me. "Hey Val, can I talk to you quickly?" Jack asked me. I nodded and got up from my chair. I followed him outside and then he turned around. "I'm really sorry what happened earlier today. I shouldn't say that" he apologized. "No Jack, I overreacted. It's my fault, I was just in a bad mood. I'M sorry" I explained. "Well okay, it's our both fault. Are we okay again?" he asked. I smiled and hugged him. "Yes, we're okay" I added. He kissed my cheek before we went inside again. He never kissed my cheek before and it felt amazing. I couldn't really describe the feeling, it's like butterflies in my stomach. I never felt like this before.