Living With The Psychopath (GL) [Completed] [Self-Published]

Episode 19

"Nababaliw ka na," mahinang saad ko. Nagbaba ako ng tingin, ang hirap pala kapag matagal na nakatitig sa mata niya. Nakakaestatwa. Pakiramdam ko mapapasunod niya ako sa kahit anong sasabihin niya. Bakit kailangan niyang ipanganak na may magandang mata? Ang sarap tusukin. "Halika na, baka magtaka na sina Papa."

"Papa can wait."

Napamaang ako sa narinig niyang sagot. "Anong Papa ka riyan─" Natigilan ako nang mas inilapit niya ang mukha sa akin. Her left hand caressed my right ear, umaabot ang palad niya hanggang pisngi ko. She leaned more, her lips brushing on mine. "Rosendale, isa."

"You're so naïve," she whispered. Rosendale buried her face on my neck, her lips gliding on my skin, until it reached my ear. Kusa akong napakapit sa balikat niya. Napalunok ako at nakaramdam ng pagtaas ng balahibo nang mag-exhale siya. Ang init ng hininga ng babaeng 'to. "Still, I like that part of you."

"Hindi ako naïve. Layo." I clenched my fist especially when her hand touched my chest. Hindi ako makakibo kahit na ramdam ko ang kamay niya ro'n. Nakapatong lang naman ang palad niya pero pakiramdam ko hihimatayin ako sa pinagsamang hiya at asar. I wanted so much to push her but I didn't have the resolve to do so. Hindi ako makakilos. "Rosendale," Halos bulong na lang ang lumabas sa bibig ko.

"I told you I don't mind if you can't reciprocate my feelings, given that you're having a hard time believing me, as long as you won't offer your heart to anyone else if it's not me." Dumiin ang palad niya. Fuck, gusto ko na lang magtago. I can't hide my heartbeats from her. My damn annoying heart was drumming so hard for her, hindi man lang marunong makipag-cooperate! "It's getting faster. It's safe to assume that you're feeling something, too, as well, but you're just too denial to admit." She chuckled like I was being funny. I wanted to punch her so good she'd collapse. "Or maybe you didn't know the feeling itself."

"I don't like you, huwag mo akong igaya sa'yo." Tuluyan ko na siyang nailayo sa akin. I realized I was trying to hold my breath. Pasimple akong huminga nang malalim. I didn't want her to notice further what she's doing to me. Nakakainis na rin. I was pretty much sure that I never swing that way, and I was much certain that I'd know if I come to like someone. And hindi siya iyon, asa naman siya. I may care for her but it won't exceed to something that's out of my control. "I'll just assume that you're hungry."

Napailing siya, mukha ring nagpipigil lang siyang ngumiti. Stupid suicidal. Tumalikod ako at naglakad na, ramdam ko namang nakasunod lang siya sa akin. Nang makarating sa kusina slash dining room ay nakita kong nakaupo na sina Papa at Mama, kumakain na sila. They looked at us. There's fried rice, hotdogs and eggs, and tocino on the table. Mukhang nawili sa pagluluto ang nanay ko. Pakiramdam ko tuloy, ang tagal na nang huli kaming nagkasama ng ganito. Noon, kami-kami lang pero ngayon, there's Rosendale na.

Before I'd think that it's a bad luck, that I felt unfortunate for having her around. Nararamdaman ko pa rin iyon kung minsan pero naiisip ko, siguro mas ramdam niyang swerte siya dahil hindi na siya mag-isa. Iyon ay kung ganoon nga ang tingin niya sa set up namin. Did she even care with my parents? I didn't know. She's not talking to them that much whenever they're around. She always locked herself in her room, kung hindi man, nasa kwarto ko siya at nagf-feeling at home sa personal space ko.

"Ang tagal ninyo naman," Papa said after taking a gulp of his fried rice. Mama just smiled at us, motioning us to sit down and we both obliged. "And Ten, did you just cut your bangs?" Rosendale nodded without even any hint of emotion. Papa nodded with a smile. "You looked better."

"I agree." Mama seconded, "It's really nice to see you doing well under our care."

Wala namang naging reaction itong isa. Hinayaan ko na lang. Kailan pa ba siya nakipag-usap ng maayos sa kanila? Never pa. She's so distant with my parents.

Naupo ako sa tabi ni Mama, si Rosendale naman ay sa tabi ko. Para talaga siyang buntot. "Sorry na, Pa, ang hirap tawagin nitong isa, eh."

Nakakaintinding tumango naman siya. Rosendale didn't react with my reason. Aba dapat lang, kung hindi rin naman kasi siya baliw na kung anu-ano ang ginagawa at sinasabi sa akin. She's a walking suicidal with the tendency to stupidly harass a person─unfortunately, me. Tapos ako pa ang masasabihang may gusto sa kanya. Damn her. Sino bang hindi kakabog ang dibdib sa ganoon? Hindi ako manhid.

I started eating as well. Mas naramdaman ko ang gutom dahil sa mga nakahain. Napansin ko namang ganoon na rin ang ginagawa nitong katabi ko. I took a spoonful of rice and the garlic already filled my taste buds. Masarap kasi magluto si Mama, lalo na kung may kasamang onion spring. I remembered that time when this suicidal girl cooked for me. It tasted good as well, it's like she's capable of being independent. Wait, she's been like that ever since her family died, ano bang pinag-iisip ko. Of course she'll learn how to cook lalo na kung walang gagawa no'n para sa kanya.

"I have something to tell," Rosendale suddenly said, stopping me from my thoughts. All of us looked at her, waiting for what she's about to say. Ano naman kaya ang gusto niyang sabihin? It's the very first time na nagsalita siya sa oras ng pagkain nang hindi tinatanong para lang makausap. "Tito, are you against homosexual relationship?"

Naubo ako sa narinig. Fuck! Napainom ako ng tubig dahil nabulunan. I glared at her while drinking but she refused to return the gaze at me, her eyes focused at Papa. Damn it, ano na naman bang pumasok sa isip niya? Goddamn!

"Hmm..." Papa looked like he's really thinking about the question. Sa totoo lang, hindi naming napag-uusapan ang mga ganoong bagay. Somehow, I will admit that the question piqued my interest. Gusto ko malaman ang sagot niya, because we didn't talk about it. We watched news regarding the matter but never did we share any opinion about it. "I honestly don't have anything against that kind of relationship. Don't you think it's pretty normal? It's happening everywhere, alam man natin o hindi. How about you, hun?"

Mama shrugged her shoulders and smile. "It's the modern world, I'm not the religious type of woman."

Natigilan ako sa mga sagot nila. They sounded so open and laid back, like the world's greatest problem was the least of their concern. It was amazing and scary at the same time that they're so accepting with how everything worked. I looked at Rosendale and caught her grinning. For whatever reason, sure akong may kakaiba ro'n. I bowed slightly and bit my lower lip. I can feel something that wasn't good. I was hoping I was wrong. Damn.

"As expected, Echo inherited her uniqueness." Rosendale said after a good while. She was playing with her food na halos hindi pa nababawasan. Hindi ko alam kung maf-flattered ako sa sinabi niya about sa akin o ano. I was unique in what way? She told me a few times that I was different pero pakiramdam ko kasi ay insult iyon. Naiinis ako sa kanya, labo niya. "I like her, by the way."

What the fuck! Nabitawan ko ang kubyertos at napanganga na lang sa kanya. My parents stared at her with such bewildered expression. Oh, my god, someone please tell me I heard it wrong. Fuck. Fuck. Ano bang akala niya? Damn her. I wanted this breakfast to end! Any more minute that will pass I might collapse because of embarrassment and annoyance.

My heart skipped a beat out of the sudden nervousness that crept within me when my father suddenly pursed his lips, then, with a nod, he tilted his head. "Tama ba ang naiisip ko, Ten?"

"Rosendale," I called. Gusto ko siyang pigilan. Masisiraan yata ako ng bait bago pa matapos ang oras na ito. I held her hand from under the table but she ignored me. Napapikit na lang ako. She should just stop. I might get mad at her.

"I like your daughter as a woman," she answered.

I can practically hear my heart banging loud inside my chest at that very moment. Her brown orbs looked so gentle and warm, it caught me in. At that short span of time, I felt a very sharp thing piercing my heart─like I was stabbed by an arrow.

_____