So I'm sorry if this is all jumbled together I just need to let you know whats going on.
I got a message an hour ago and I didn't see it until now. It was basically saying that this girl someone who read my book had commited suicide. And it kills me to type this because I remember her posting on my message board saying how much she loved the fanfic and me. I responded and she got excited and everything, she told me that she stopped cutting because of me. Because of something I do I helped her to stop selfharming. I have screenshots on my phone of our conversation and I remember how good I felt and how much I love every single one of you and smiling at each word she said. I did everything I could to keep her updated and knowing that I love her. I kiked her, made sure she found my Twitter. Talked to her when she wanted to, its just heart breaking that I couldn't be there for her all the time. I didn't get to talk her out of it or help her get through her struggle. I'm seriously balling my eyes out because of this, it hurts a lot knowing I couldn't do anything or say anything. She's gone, forever. I can't help but blame myself for not making her smile, for not being able to talk to her, for not knowing she was hurting this bad that she had to go and end it all.
I guess what I'm really trying to say is that I will always love her and you guys and I'm glad I was able to keep her here for a while longer and I feel really special that I had the chance to be in her life.
Please just talk to me you guys, it hurts me more knowing you guys are hurting. I just don't want another lost beautiful and meaningful person leaving.
I love you more than you know.
Talk to you guys later.
