Know You All Over Again

Chapter 13

Soft voices out of somewhere wake me slowly up. It's like a murmur in the far and I am trying to shake away the last remainders of my sleep so that I finally can understand what it's happening.

I am rubbing my hands over my eyes and slowly my senses are coming back to me. I am just looking around and I am still in my bedroom. I can see a faint light coming through the curtains and I assume it must be some time around lunch time?

I am struggling a bit up, trying to get into a more seating position. But my ringing ears and the spinning head are quickly telling me that they don't agree with my idea at all. I fall back into my pillow and close my eyes again.

At least the murmur from somewhere starts to make sense. It's coming from the living room. It's Korn and he is talking to someone. Of course, Yiwah.

“How are you holding up?” My ears suddenly prick up and I even try to hold me breath just not miss anything.

“I am fine.” Korn's voice sounds a lot but not fine. He sounds sad, I notice with a strange sense of detachment. My brain is still spinning round and round and all I can do is try to stay quiet and listen.

“Korn!” Looks like Yiway agrees with my analysis of the situation. A loud sigh follows and I can even see his face in front of my eyes. He looks the way he always does when he is exhausted...

“I... I... I just don't know. This time that I spend with him is just making me see more and more things clear and it scares me.” I can suddenly feel a lump growing in my throat. Of course he realises something.

How much of a failure I am. What a huge idiot and child I am.

“I finally understand why he doesn't want me back and it tears me apart.” His voice just sounds so tired, but the words don't make much sense to me.

I don't want him back? But I want him back.

I touch my forehead to see if my brain is still where it's suppose to be. I surprisingly can't feel my brain, but I can feel my forehead and it's burning hot. Hm, since when do I have a fever? I lowly chuckle to myself. Fever...

“I mean, Yiwah, you don't get how angry and hurt I am about this whole guy thing. I hate that he slept with someone else and I would love to kill that person with my bare hands. I honestly can feel so much anger and hurt in me, I have enough excess energy to keep a whole town afloat for a week.” I can hear Yiwah's low giggle in the background and I am still trying to wrap my head around, what he is saying.

He is hurt? He is angry? Oh, how surprising. Of course would he be angry and hurt. He is the king of fucking jealousy.

No one is even allowed to look at me funny because I am the king of infidelity and even fuck any random girl in a public bathroom.... My sarcasm tastes bitter on my tongue and I can feel my heart getting more heavy with every passing second.

“I can't even begin to imagine how he must felt about Pete. And it just honestly kills me. I mean, he believed we would get married. We would have a future together. He even came out to his parents. He changed his whole life just for me. Just because he loved me. And what did I do? I mistrusted him, never believed in him and in the end was the one cheating on him.”

“While he did everything to ensure our future, I killed it. I did it at the exact moment he made his biggest sacrifice for me. You will never understand how bad I feel about that. I am such an asshole. I wouldn't take me back either....”

His voice is getting lower and lower and I can feel more wetness on my face. I touch my forehead and again it's scorching hot and wet. I feel my cheeks and they are also wet. I am searching for the reason. It's not sweat. Oh, I am crying...