𝙃𝙚𝙧 𝙁𝙤𝙧𝙜𝙤𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙣 𝙋𝙖𝙨𝙩 || Eren Jaeger

𝒊𝒏𝒏𝒐𝒄𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆

He hugged me before I could say any more. I held him tightly and instantly felt seven years old again. Deep down, besides feeling relieved that he was alive, I knew I was also jealous. Jealous that he was such a good person and I wasn't. Jealous that he felt compassion for the enemy like a person should and I was such an unfeeling, born-to-kill piece of crap.

"I almost lost you... If it wasn't for Armin..." I mumbled into his shirt, "you'd be dead on a slab right now."

"Hey," He unglued me from his chest and smiled sympathetically, "You can't get rid of me that easily. Besides," He sighed and smirked, "I still have to give an emotional toast at your wedding when you marry that suicidal blockhead." He stepped away and started packing the medical stuff back in the bag.

Heat pooled in my cheeks. "Marriage?" My voice jumped a couple pitches. "W-Who said anything about marriage..." the thought was enough to make my stomach go all fuzzy.

"With the way you two are going, its bound to happen soon." He said trivially.

I frowned and leaned against the wall. "If we even get him back."

"We will, relax." He assured, throwing a smart glance at me over his shoulder, "Stupid faith, remember? You're not the only one who has it."

I couldn't help but smile.

꒰ 🥀 ꒱

"That Dimo Reeves guy sure came through," I tried speaking over the agonized screams coming from downstairs. I absentmindedly fiddled around with the switchblade I had packed in my bag. The boredom was getting to me.

"Yeah," Sasha mused, probably trying to spare me some awkwardness and get a little conversation going in the room. "I, um... I have to admit I had my doubts at first, but if it wasn't for him, we wouldn't have caught those two interior MPs."

"And we wouldn't be currently torturing them." Connie said sourly. "You forgot that part."

"Oh. R-Right, yes..."

The truth is, this room was getting a little hard to breathe in. The thick discomfort hanging in the air could be cut with a knife. The screams have been going on for hours, although I have to admit, they were louder before when Corporal Levi was doing the torture.

We needed information on Eren and Historia's whereabouts. Apparently, these were the sinister lengths we were willing to take in order to get it. Just like the others, I'm on the fence about our methods. Yes, I'm disgusted that we're inflicting so much pain on another human, even if they are the enemy. But at the same time, these are simply the consequences of a cruel world. Its eat or be eaten.

I think the Survey Corps has been getting eaten for too long.

Its our turn to bite.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't notice the screams had stopped. Curious and tired of waiting around, I got up from the floor and left the room to see if they were done. I walked down the creaky stairs that led to the lower level and before I could even reach the bottom, the door to the torture room swung open.

It was none other than my father.

"Sorry to break it to you, but the fun isn't over yet." He said humorlessly as he took off his red gloves, which if I remember correctly, used to be white. "Hanji's thinking of a different approach. Maybe that way we can get some information."

I watched him drop the gloves in a bucket in the corner and proceed to take off his bloody apron. Under the eerie, dim basement lighting, the dark circles under his eyes were even more prominent. Although mine probably were, too.

I sighed, "You know... If you and Hanji need any help—"

"Not a chance." The expression on his face was grim.

I folded my arms. "You're supposed to say 'no, thank you' when people offer you help."

Thats when he stopped and stared at me, not with surprise, not with indignance, but almost reminiscently... like his eyes were seeing someone else.

He chuckled, the closest thing I'd ever get to a laugh from him, and said "You sound just like your mother..."

Then he blinked and the fond memory flickered until it was gone completely. "You're not going in there. I don't want you to see that." He said with finality. He scrubbed his hands clean.

Those words rung in my head like a gong. I bit my inner cheek. Is he trying to be protective...?

"I'm not a child anymore. I lost that innocence a long time ago." I said. Not defiantly, but understandingly.

Apparently my words were a tough pill to swallow. But he seemed to recognize them as true. Drying his hands, he slowly turned to me and walked over. "I know." He said. He stared at me hard for a couple seconds, and ever so tentative, he pushed a lock of hair behind my ear. "I guess I just forget."

"It's okay." I said with a small shrug. "You can keep forgetting, and I can keep reminding you. And we can keep doing that for the rest of our lives."

He chuckled softly.

A pause. Then— "Do I really remind you of her?" I asked, unable to help myself.

"Every day." He confirmed.

"What was she like?"

"What do you want to know?"

"Everything." I said almost immediately. "I want the whole story. Down to the smallest detail."

His eyebrows raised. "Your mother was a very complex woman. It would take some time."

I half expected him to say that. I nodded understandingly. "I know."

He went back to the bucket and hung up his apron. "Tell you what," he said, "When we break free of this shithole, and we settle down in a house near the big water— the ocean, or whatever those three like to call it..." He turned to me, "I'll tell you everything. Down to the smallest detail."

"When?" I repeated, "That's awfully confident."

"It is, isn't it? I guess when you get to my age and you've seen countless soldiers die you eventually get sick of it. There comes a point when the dream has to become reality. No other option."

"You sound like Eren." I smirked.

He scowled. "Don't compare me to that brat. So..." he held out his hand, "is it a deal? By the ocean?"

I pictured it. And once I did, I realized how much I needed that to become reality.

I took his hand, smiled, and shook it. "By the ocean."

꒰ End of Chapter 10 ꒱