Everything You Are (Chaelisa)

Chapter 11

Pizza night turned out to be a mini-party with Minhyuk, Yunhyeong, Jinhwan, Jihyo and Ho-seok joining Chaeyoung, Seulgi and Jisoo at their apartment. Minhyuk looked over at Chaeyoung, who was off to a corner watching Lisa talk to Jihyo. He went over to his friend and slung an arm over her shoulders. “You reek of jealousy.”

Chaeyoung scoffed. “I am not jealous.”

“Why don’t you just ask her out? It’s obvious that you’re into her. Besides, Jihyo likes her so you better make a move sooner rather than later.”

“I’m not making any moves.” Chaeyoung moved Minhyuk’s arm from over her shoulders. “We’re just friends.”

Minhyuk grinned. “Denial doesn’t look good on you,” he said before walking away.

Chaeyoung rolled her eyes and decided that she was done with this party. She headed to her room and kicked off her shoes before getting into bed. She looked up at the ceiling and tried to drown out the sound of laughter and chatter. A knock at the door broke Chaeyoung out of her thoughts and before she could say anything, it was being pushed open.

Lisa entered the room and leaned her back against the door. “Turning in for the night?”

“I guess,” Chaeyoung replied, surprised Lisa had noticed her exit from the festivities.

Lisa removed her shoes and moved to lie down next to Chaeyoung. “You okay?”

“Yeah, just all partied out,” Chaeyoung lied. “What about you?”

Lisa sighed. “I feel like I’m a teen again waiting to get reprimanded by my parents. To be fair, I should’ve told them that I was transferring.”

“And they need to realize that you would’ve told them if they weren’t so controlling,” Chaeyoung pointed out. “You had something great with Sana. Don’t let them take those memories away from you.”

Lisa was silent for a beat before turning her head to look at Chaeyoung. “Have you ever been in love?”

Chaeyoung thought about Jungkook and her other exes, instantly feeling bad for all the hearts she had broken. “No.”

Lisa frowned. “You said you were in a relationship for two years.”

Chaeyoung bit at her lower lip, debating if she wanted to bring up the mess that was her relationship with Jungkook. Deciding it would be good to talk about her ex, Chaeyoung turned on her side so that she was facing Lisa and used her hand to prop up her head. “I stayed with him… Jungkook, thinking I’d be in love with him one day. He was a great guy. There was no reason for me to not love him… but it never happened. Those feelings just weren’t there for me. I never got butterflies in my stomach around him; I never missed him when he was away; I never had that fairytale love people go on about. I knew I had to break-up with him but I kept putting it off because I knew he’d be a wreck. One night he proposed and that was it- I couldn’t keep stringing him along. I ended things. He got drunk that same night and ended up getting in a car accident. A really bad one. Five people died. Jungkook was on life support for a few days and he didn’t have any family so it was up to me to decide what to do. Keeping him on life support was only prolonging the inevitable so I made the choice to let him go.”

Lisa was tempted to reach out and comfort Chaeyoung, but she knew that probably wasn’t what she wanted right now. “And that’s why you don’t date?”

“Yeah,” Chaeyoung replied. “I just make a mess out of everyone I get close to. I don’t want to chance hurting anyone else.”

“What if they didn’t mind taking that chance?” Lisa asked, turning so that she was mirroring Chaeyoung’s position.