Resentment

Nineteen.

"You got lucky, bitch," the guy I beat up said and Joshua snatched him up.

"Bitch, what I just told you?"

"Not to mess with her or come around here," he whimpered.

"And you gone sit there and disrespect her in front of me? I should let her ass beat the fuck out of all of y'all. Niggas get guns and think they hot shit. Carrying baby glocks and shit. Tony show these niggas some real guns," Joshua said and Tony and his crew pulled out every gun imaginable.

"Stay the fuck from here," Tony said, "Leave now."

"Nah, go apologize. All of you," Joshua said dropping the guy he was holding up.

"Um, we're sorry," one said.

"I fucking said all of you," he yelled.

"We're sorry," they yelled in unison and ran off.

"Good timing," I said laughing.

"I was coming to give you your protein, pre-workout, meals for the week and your detox," he said giving me the duffle bag full on shit.

"Thanks, old man. I'll see you later," I told him.

"No problem. I'll see you tomorrow," he replied and I went in the house. Luna stood up to come talk to me, but I ignored her.

"Get the fuck away from me before I smack the fuck outta you, dude," I told her as I put my meal prep and other stuff away.

"Luna, just leave her alone," Elijah said catching an attitude with her and moved her away.

"Don't tell me what to do," she said to him and shoved him. He was ready to swing on her.

"Don't shove me," he said shoving her back harshly making her hit the fridge.

"Stop it before y'all break something and I beat y'all ass," I told them pushing them apart, but Elijah wasn't having it.

"Elijah, it's okay. Wanna go watch a movie in my room?" I asked him and he slowly nodded before following me to my room. Micah was laying on his tummy looking at the dancing mouse on the tv.

"Bubby," he said excitedly and sat up. He held his arms up, so I hugged him.

"Did you miss me?" I asked him and he nodded excitedly, "I'm gonna take a shower, so when I get out you better be ready to give me some cuddles." He gave me a thumbs up and a big smile. I picked out something random to put on. I took a long, hot shower. I didn't get out until I heard my phone start ringing. I got up, dried off, put some lotion on and put my clothes on. I threw my dirty clothes in the laundry basket and left my bathroom.

"Bubby," Micah said clapping his hands.

"Micah," I said clapping my hands. He got excited and started jumping up and down on my bed. Once I got close enough, he jumped in my arms. I gave him kisses which he happily accepted. I grabbed my phone, laid down and saw I had a bunch of text from Normani, so I called her.

"Where have you been on all day?"

"I got in an argument with Luna, so I went to the gym to blow off some steam. I didn't bring my phone."

"Oh, I was worried you got hurt. There's a video of you fighting some guy all
over the internet. What happened?"

"His grown ass shouldn't have been f-messing with my little brother."

"Little brother?"

"My adoptive parents had a son making him my little brother," I said showing her Elijah.

"Hi," he waved shyly resting his head on my shoulder.

"Aw, you're so cute. Hi, I'm Normani," she replied.

"I'm Elijah," he replied softly.

"How old are you?"

"I turn fourteen on May 31st."

"Really, we have the same birthday," she exclaimed getting excited.

"Hey," Micah said popping up into the camera. He stole all of Mani's attention.

"Hi, Micah. How are you?" she asked him and he had a lot to say.

"Bubby did what?" she asked dramatically and I kid you not he started imitating me from when I was arguing with Luna, but you couldn't understand anything he was saying.

"I can't believe it," she said and Micah shook his head.

"Okay, Micah. It's nap time now," I told him and he pouted.

"Bye, Micah. Have a nice nap," she told him and he waved at her. He put his pacifier in his mouth and rest his entire body on my torso. I hadn't even realized that Elijah had fallen asleep on me.

"So how are you?" she asked me.

"I'm okay, I guess. I don't really feel anything besides anger at the moment."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"About what?"

"About why you're angry."

"Oh, because of Luna."

"What happened?"

"We got into an argument."

"About what?"

"About why our, well their, grandma doesn't like me."

"Why doesn't she like you?"

"She felt that I thought that my light skin, light eyes and loose curls made me better than them. She would tell me I wasn't, say I wasn't black enough and praise the ground Luna walked on. Plus she thought I was some demonic creature because I'm intersex."

"You and Luna got into a fight because Luna agreed with her?"

"Basically, but it's like I can't mention what I went through with out her saying "It wasn't that bad" or "Darkskin black women get treated worse." It's like yes, I understand that, but it doesn't make what I've experienced invalid. It's like a battle of who had it worse. I don't undermine the struggles of being a dark skin woman. I can't relate my 'trauma' to something I've never experienced for myself. But for some reason, Luna thinks that I'm fighting against her. When in reality, I'm fighting for her."

"Has anyone ever favored you over her?"

"Kids back at school would compare us, but I always defended her. If anything, I felt as if she was the pretty one. I'm just some lightskin chick with blue eyes and has matching faces with Beyoncé. It's like she just likes to argue about it to get me mad. I don't get it."

"Maybe she's still holding on to hurt or trauma from when you two were younger," Normani suggested.

"I guess," I said yawning.

"You should sleep," Normani said and I nodded.

"What's on your agenda for today?" I asked.

"A few interviews and a show," she replied.

"You're the one who needs to be asleep."

"How about we both sleep?"

"I have no problem with that," I replied.

"I'll mute," she yawned and I did the same which made her laugh. I muted and put my phone on the charger. Micah moves tugging on his shirt in his sleep. I took it off for him without waking him or Elijah up. Elijah rolled over and got under the blanket.

"I love you, Y/N/N," he said giving me a kiss on the cheek.

"I love you, too. Get some sleep."

Sorry for any grammatical errors.