I haven’t hugged anyone in years. I won’t let people who aren’t my relatives touch me, because I feel sorry for them. I won’t let people who are my relatives touch me, because I’m a germaphobe. And right now I can’t stop crying and I feel so much worse because all I want is to be hugged and remember what it feels like, but there’s nobody to give it to me. I need somebody to tell me I’m worth my life and that I’m doing things well, but there isn’t anybody to do that. And imagining fictional characters and celebrities only takes me so far, before I remind myself they wouldn’t even give me the time of day. I just feel so empty and worthless and it doesn’t matter who I say that to, nobody takes me seriously.
