Here Comes Goodbye (A Stony Fanfiction)

Can't Escape This Hell

It was so easy for him to act like nothing was wrong when he was in front of the others because no one knew.

No one knew the pain and anguish he faced everyday.

He had to do what was right. Not that he knew what the right decision was, but he had to. Easy to say, hard to do.

Everyday it was the same routine. Wake up from the nightmare, clean up for the day, work out, come home, eat a few bites, shower, go to sleep, repeat.

The only problem is that it didn't feel the same anymore..not since three months ago...when the nightmares started.

This morning he went into the kitchen where the rest of his fellow Avengers sat, getting ready for the meeting Nick was about to conduct.

Nobody seemed to noticed Steve's eyes were red and swollen. Nobody seemed to notice he had bags under them and that he seemed to be losing weight due to lack of nutrients.

At least he thought no one noticed until Natasha sat beside him.

"You okay, Cap?" she whispered

"What do you mean?" acting clueless

"Steve, don't play dumb with me. I can tell something just isn't right with you."

"Natasha, I don't know what you're talking about. I couldn't be better," Steve replies plastering an obvious fake smile on his face.

All Natasha could do was roll her eyes. "Whatever you say." She knew he wouldn't open up to her. She knew it was a losing battle.

I'm not fine. I can't do this any more. Why'd this have to happen? I'm losing my mind. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I'm not even really living. I'm more like a zombie. I can't bring myself to make this choice. Why me? Why couldn't he have told and chosen anyone but me?

Once he came out of his train of thought, he looked around. Everyone was gone. There was nothing but silence. Meeting must be over. As usual he falls back in his routine and goes upstairs, crawls into bed and cries himself to sleep. All the while repeating in his head: why me?