10 Last Months

PROLOGUE

Nang mailagay ko na ang mga napiling mga gamit ko sa box ay sinara ko na ito at nilagyan ng tape. Now that I'm done separating the things I want to bring to home, cleaning will be my next task. For sure, magagalit sa'kin si Mama if she knew about it na pumunta ko rito, ginulo ang mga gamit tapos hindi rin aayusin. Hays.

Lahat ng nasa kama ko ay inisa-isa kong ibalik sa cabinet. Mostly are my clothes when I was a kid. Puro mga gown and costumes ng disney's princess. Looking at it now, it can really tell how much of a fat kid I was. I was the typical fat kid na laging inaaway sa school. Pero hindi ako yung tipikal na hahayaan lang silang awayin ako.

"Anyway, bakit nga pala ngayon ka nag-aayos ng gamit kung next year pa naman kayo aalis?" My best friend asked still in line, done with her chikas.

"Wala na akong time next year and in between classes, 'no."

"Ay oo nga, right after grad pala natin aalis na kayo."

Pinagpatuloy ko ang paglalagay ng mga gamit sa cabinet nang may makita akong photopaper na nakaipit sa isang sulok ng cabinet ko. Nakatalikod ito kaya hindi agad makikita kung ano ba talaga yung laman ng picture, pero may sulat sa likod nito, handwritten of a 3rd grader kid.

"Grabe, damang dama ko na agad na aalis ka nga. Magiging malungkot talaga ako 'pag umalis k—"

"Oh shit." That's my reaction when I finally got the photo and read the text on it.

"Huh? Bakit? What happened?" My best friend asked.

"Shit! Bitch, nakita ko na 'yung picture namin!" I can't contain my feelings. This makes me so excited. I've been looking for this, tapos nandito lang pala?!

"Huh?? I don't get you. Anong picture NIYO?" Naguguluhang tanong niya.

"Gaga! 'Yung picture namin ni Vinze! All these years ng paghahanap ko nandito lang pala!"

"OMG!! Girl, I am so happy for you! Ayan may patunay ka na na hindi lang imagination 'yung pinagmulan ng pagmamahal mo sa kanya!" Tignan mo 'to, kaibigan ko ba talaga 'to, pinagtatawanan pa 'ko.

"Bastos ka talaga. Tsaka, anong pagmamahal ka diyan." I rolled my eyes as if she can see it.

"Whatever you say, bitch. Oo na, crush mo na siya for EIGHT YEARS. AHAHAHA!"

"Bwiset ka talaga. Fine, I love him. Okay na?" Pag-aamin ko. What's in it to hide kung siya rin naman 'yung pinagkkwento ko ng mga ganap ko sa crush ko diba. And yes. I guess, eight years of crush isn't crush anymore, it's love already.

"Ayon! Buti inamin mo rin! Mag-iisang dekada ka nang nagdedeny eh."

"At least hindi ko naman dinedeny na crush ko nga siya 'no."

"Whatever floats your boat, bitch. Basta ang mahalaga umamin ka na sa totoo mong nararamdaman sa kaniya."

"Touché"

"HAHAHA! Wait, I have an idea."

"Ano na naman 'yan?" Bored kong tanong sa kanya habang tinitignan ang picture namin ni Vinzeler. Nakaakbay siya sa akin at nakatingin pa sa'kin habang ako naman ay awkward na nakangiti at nakaharap sa camera na naka-peace sign pa. We look cute though I look really fat. Halos hindi na makita ang leeg ko sa aking katabaan at sobrang taba rin ng cheeks ko.

"What if, you make your last year here nang exciting and challenging?"

"What do you mean?" Tanong ko dahil kung ano ano na naman ang naiisip nito.

"Make Vinze fall for you." Diretsahan niyang sagot.

"What?! Why would I do that?"

"Ay oo nga. Sabagay, magiging complicated nga kapag nafall talaga siya sa'yo tapos aalis ka naman."

On the second thought, I think it's a good idea. Ilang years ko na rin siyang mahal at hindi pa ako nagiging vocal about doon. It wouldn't hurt that much naman diba? Or maybe it would but it's for me to handle. What's important is for me to make him feel that there's someone who loves him so much.

"I will do it."

"What?! No! I was just kidding! You don't have to do it."

"But you were the one who suggested it."

"Oo nga pero don't do it na please?" Frustrated niyang tanong sa akin na dama kong pinagsisisihan niya talaga sa ginawa niyang suggestion.

"No, it won't change my made. I certain I will do it."

"Paano naman kung mafall talaga siya sa'yo? Tapos aalis ka? Hindi ba ang complicated no'n?" Mahinahong tanong niya na talagang pinipilit akong baguhin ang isip ko.

"That's for me to problem about kapag dumating na sa point na 'yan. We're not sure kung mafa-fall talaga siya. Tsaka that's not the goal naman, I just want him to feel that there is someone like me who loves him. I want him to feel loved like what he deserves." I paused. "I will love him more for my ten last months here."