Girls and Red lipstick

the second first time

!!!

"He's finally asleep" Toni said with a sigh as she sat down on the couch next to Cheryl was a glass of wine. Cheryl grabbed the glass out of her hand, and place the two glasses down on the table. She grabbed Toni's hands and pulled her closer to her. They both smiled at each other and Cheryl played with Toni's hair. "I erm...i really like being with you" Cheryl whispered softly. Toni smiled and gently kissed her. "Also..." Cheryl whispered pulling away. "i've never met anyone who is a better kisser than you" she continued. Toni looked at her and smiled feeling proud of herself. Cheryl laughed at her. Toni slowly traced her hand along Cheryl's arm and hand. "Do you wanna maybe stay over?" she asked hopefully. Cheryl paused. "don't worry, we can just sleep" she continued smiling. "yeah i'd like that" she replied. Toni leaned over and kissed her as she ran her hands through her hair.

"Toni?" Cheryl whispered as she grabbed her hands and pulled away. "Yeah?" Toni asked in a sweet worried voice. "Can i tell you something?" she whispered and her voice got a little shaky. "yeah of course what's wrong?" Toni replied squeezing her hands tightly to make sure Cheryl new she was safe and could trust her. "okay so the truth is, the reason i want to wait isn't because i don't want to rush...well it is...but mainly it's because i'm scared" she said in a shaky voice. Toni looked at her and waited for her to continue. "A little while after we broke up i met a girl in a bar. I wasn't ready to be with anyone when i met her but she told me to give her a call when i did. A few months later i felt ready and i'd never forgotten her so i called her. Anyways, long story short, we ended up dating. We'd been together for about a year i think and i really thought i was in love with her. She was kind and sweet and i felt like she loved me. But then, something changed...she changed and it all went down hill. She started acting weird and being weird and then that weirdness turned worse and she was just awful. She never abused be physically, but emotionally that was a different story. She would make me feel so bad about myself, and then she would tell me that no one was gonna love me like she did because i wasn't good enough and all this shit. Anyways, if got really bad and i wouldn't leave the house unless i was with her. And it was always her way and her rules. Veronica and Betty tried to help but when you think your in love it's so hard to see what other people see. I knew the way she was treating me wasn't right, but i was so scared and i started believing all the things that she would say to me. This went on for...about a year an a half. Eventually i found the courage to end things with her. It was literally one of the worse nights of my life but i did it and i felt a little better after. But then all the things she said to me would replay over and over in my mind. I got really bad depression and anxiety and i was in a really low place. I felt so alone and i bottled it all up because i thought i was just being 'over dramatic' or 'stupid'. Anyway, one night i decided that, i didn't want to be here anymore. I'd lost all hope and i felt like there was nothing left for me to hold on to. So, i took some pills. In fact, i took a lot. If Betty hadn't of decided to come see me that night, i woudnt be here right now" she said and a tear fell down her cheek. Toni took in all the information and her eyes filled with tears too. "When i woke up in the hospital i suddenly realised what i'd just done. My whole perspective changed and i decided that i needed to get my life together. So, i got a new job in the city and that was about a year ago now. Blair was the last person that i was properly with. Since her, i haven't felt like i'm ready and i haven't found someone that i trust enough. I decided that i wasn't gonna push to be in a relationship until the right person came...and then you came back ...and you've blown all of that water" she said with a smile at the end. "I'm so sorry that you had to go through that" Toni replied wiping away Cheryl's tears. "listen, i respect you and i want you to know you can trust me with anything. Whatever happens between us can be on your timing. I'll wait forever as long as i can be with you" she continued whispering softly. Cheryl kissed Toni softly and hugged her.

"i never once stopped thinking about you" she said as she started into the redheads eyes. "not one day went by when i didn't think about your smile, or the way you made me feel" she continued. Cheryl smiled at her. "I never once stopped thinking about you either" she replied as she interlocked their fingers. "Why the fuck did we waist all those years?" Toni whispered as she moved closer to her. "i have no idea" Cheryl replied as she slowly leaned in to kiss her. She traced her hands down Toni's body as Toni moved to be on top of her. "Your so hot" Cheryl whispered as Toni smirked at her. She slowly kissed her neck and collar bone and Cheryl unbuttoned her top. Cheryl pulled away and looked into Toni's eyes. She felt safe with her and she wanted to be with her. She gently placed her hand on the side of Toni's face. "I want you" she whispered and Toni's eyebrows raised. "Wait now?" she replied ruining the moment that was supposed to be sexy. "Yeah. i don't wanna wait any longer" she replied. Toni stood up and grabbed her hand. They walked to her bedroom quietly and closed the door behind them.

Toni sat down on her bed and slowly took her top off. She had quite a few more tattoos that the last time Cheryl had seen her. Cheryl's jaw dropped as she looked at her body. "you always loved girls with tattoos didn't you?" Toni said smiling as she noticed Cheryl's expression. Cheryl bit her bottom lip but didn't reply. "fuck i need a minute" Cheryl said staring at her wide eyed. Toni laughed at her. "Cher-" she started. "no give me a minute. Let me just look at you" she replied and Toni laughed. "Get over here idiot" she whispered and Cheryl finally joined her on the bed. "Seriously though, you get sexier by the minute" she whispered and Toni laughed at her again.

!!!

Toni woke up first and looked at Cheryl sleeping peacefully. Her long red hair sprawled across the white pillow as she softly breathed in and out. The house was silent, and the only sounds were from the birds chirping outside. The sun shone slightly through the window and the shadows of the new day danced around the room. It was a beautiful day and Toni felt grateful. She was blessed to have an amazing house, son who she adored, and the most beautiful girl to wake up beside. As she lay enjoying the peacefulness, Cheryl slowly began to wake up. Toni didn't say anything she just smiled at her as she slowly opened her eyes. Cheryl breathed deeply and smiled back at her. Toni kissed her softly as she whispered "Good morning beautiful" in her ear. "good morning" she replied back as she cuddled in to her.

"why do i feel like i'm 17 again and no time has passed?" Cheryl asked as she looked at Toni. She laughed back at her. "yeah it's weird that after all this time we are here right now...together" she replied as she softly tucked Cheryl's hair behind her ear. "Yeah...well there's no place i'd rather be" Cheryl replied as she intertwined their fingers. Her heart beat faster and she felt abit nervous. "Toni...?" she whispered looking down at their hands. "yeah" she whispered back looking at her. "will you be my girlfriend?" she asked shyly not making eye contact. Toni paused and smiled at her. Cheryl looked up feeling nervous in the silence. "hmmm...let me get back to you on that one" Toni replied with a laugh. Cheryl playfully punched her arm and smiled at her. "Of course i will" she replied smiling.

Cheryl's heart felt happy and she felt all fuzzy inside. She was already falling for her.

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Hiiiiii
sorry it's taken so long to update. College has been very stressful lately and it basically taking over my life. If someone would like to do my A levels for me that would be great lol (not joking)
I'm not really sure where i'm going with this story so updates may be a little slower

also...little side note...
idk who any of you guys are or how any of you guys are but i just wanna say that your all amazing. I know from experience that everyone goes through hard times (especially at my age) but i think it's important that we help people whenever we can just to feel a little bit better...

so...

if anyone is having a bad day or month or year or whatever it is, remember that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Whatever your feeling is temporary and will pass. Things may be hard now, but everything gets easier over time and we can learn from the hardships that we face. Everything you are is exactly how it's meant to be, and you should always embrace that. Your life has value and your never alone...not really.

Idk if anyone needs to hear this but maybe someone will and i hope it encourages you and stirs something in your spirit.

Have an amazing week guys.

H x