The Adventures of Mr. Evans

Sip it and zip it

Warnings: Language

"Chris are you sure you'll be okay watching Vic and Adrian while I go to lunch with a friend?" I asked him.

"Baby doll I'll be fine, you act like I've never done this before." Chris said with a sigh.

"You have babe, but you also know what happened last time right?" I gave Victoria and Adrian kisses on the head and then looked up at Chris. "I have no doubt you can do it babe, but just watch Vic cause she loves to explore."

Chris's POV

"Yeah doll I know. Trust me! Dad is okay!" I kissed her lips and let her go. I turned back around to see Adrian and Victoria staring at me. "We got this right guys?" I asked with a smile.

Two hours later Adrian was running around without a diaper. Victoria was pulling out all the stuff from the lower cabinets. I was trying to make cookies to settle the kids down. I put the cookies in oven and then went to chase Adrian down the hall. "Ad you need a diaper on." Adrian screamed when I picked him up. I carried him to his room where he put the diaper on crooked because of Adrian's kicking. Then I put him in his bed before going to stop Victoria.

I forgot completely that he even opened a beer at all. Somehow Victoria bad climbed up the counter and was now attempting to drink it. "Victoria!!!!" I yelled making her jump and quickly put the drink down. She started to cry and I didn't know if it was from guilt or a way to guilt trip me. I mean it's the second time this has happened so she should feel guilty or maybe I should. I took the bottle from her and threw it in the trash. "How much did you drink sweetheart?" I said in a much nicer tone.

Victoria sniffed and answered. "Not a lot."

"Sweetheart you can't drink that, it's for adults only and if you drink it you can become very sick okay?" I asked her if she understood and she nodded and rubbed her eyes. "Okay give me hugs and kisses." I smiled and Victoria gave me a big hug and a slobbery kiss to the cheek. One of those where the kid just sits there drooling on your face. I sat her down on the floor and let her run off somewhere else. Then I started to put everything back where it was. As I was by the oven I could smell burnt food. "Fuck, the cookies!" I went to put an oven mit on and take the cookies out.

"Fuck the cookies!" Victoria repeated. My eyes widened. Y/n would kill me if she heard Victoria say that.

"No no sweetheart don't say that." I took the cookies out and they were burnt to a crisp. "Uh do you want ice cream?"

"Fuck the cookies!" She screamed louder this time.

"No Vic!" I picked her up and took her with me to Adrian's room where he was peacefully playing with the toys in his crib. I took out a onesie for him to put on so I could take them to get ice cream.

Once I got Adrian dressed I told Victoria to get her shoes on. Y/n had left me the SUV to drive so I buckled the kids in and then set off for some ice cream. The ice cream shop that Victoria loved the most was found in the mall so I thought it be good to put them in the stroller and walk around with them.

We had a double stroller so I easily put both of them in the stroller and went inside. We were walking clearly to the ice cream shop when Y/n turned the corner. I made a swift dash to avoid her. She was walking and talking with her friend. Already having bags in her hands.

"Mommy!!" Victoria screamed. I shushed her and kept going. Relying on the bushes in the middle to hide us. I looked over and saw Y/n looking around confused. We were so close I could hear her voice.

"What's wrong?" Her friend asked.

"Nothing it's just... I swear I hear Vic calling for me." She looked around again. Her friend assured her that it was probably another kid in the mall. She agreed and kept walking.

I got the kids their ice cream and we went back home to eat it. I was letting Adrian have tiny spoonfuls of it while I fed him in the high chair. "Alright Vic you remember what I said right?"

"Fuck the cookies!"

"No! About you not saying those words and not telling mom about the special adult juice." She nodded and continued to eat her chocolate ice cream with sprinkles on it.

I sighed and soon the garage door came up and went down. Y/n came in with a bunch of bags. "Hi babydoll." I greeted her and took some of the bags from her. "How was your day?"

"Good we were going to go to the movies, but I missed you guys so much so I came back. I kept hearing Vic's voice at the mall, it was so weird."

"Oh yeah I took the kids to get some ice cream there."

"Really? You didn't come and say anything." She slipped her shoes off and undid her hair from its ponytail.

"I didn't want to bother you doll, wanted you to have some peaceful time."

She smiled and leaned up to kiss my lips. "You're so sweet baby."

"Mommy!" Victoria came running in. She had chocolate al over her face. "Dada took us for ice cream!"

"He did? Wow! What else did you do?" Y/n held Victoria in her hands while she walked back to the kitchen.

"I drank some special adult juice." My eyes widened and I knew she'd spill it some how.

Y/n furrowed her eyebrows and turned to me. "She means the apple juice I put in a shot glass." I lied.

"Oh okay." I let out a breath and Y/n put Vic down so she could hug Adrian. "I'm gonna go change okay?" She said before walking past the burnt cookies. "What happens here?"

"Fuck the cookies!" Victoria screamed again.

"Victoria Rose Evans what did you just say?" Y/n's eyes almost popped out her head. "Christopher?" She turned to me.

"Okay okay I guess it might've slipped, but I swear I didn't mean to let her have the beer." Everything was flowing out of me. I was telling on myself and I really couldn't stop.

"Wait wait- BEER- Chris- ugh we will talk later mister." She stormed off leaving me to the kids.

"Snitches get stitches dada." Victoria said while coloring on her paper.

I sighed closing my eyes. "CHRIS THERE'S SHIT ON THE WALL!" My eyes busted open. I almost forgot that Adrian was running around the house without a diaper on.

A/N: I love writing fluffy shit like this.