Beauty of an Assassin - Evelyn_myth

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Okay before I even start - I'm so sorry that this took so long, and even though i dont want to make an excuse becaise its unnaceptable for me to say itll be done in approx 2 weeks and take 2 months (probably more) to get round to it - but i have been drowning in schoolwork lately anyway hopefully ill get the rest of these reviews back on the road soon!
Please remember that even though this may seem harsh, I am only trying to help you improve your writing. And i would like to see you take some of this feedback, and use it because i have put my time and effort into it. Here is your review Evelyn_Myth

Title: I love your title, it suits your story, its remomerable, its unique. I can’t really say much but 10/10 for the title.

Cover: your cover is unique, but not eye catching. As a reviewer, i like it, but as a reader, it's not something that catches my eye. It needs to stand out against all the other books. Readers generally pick books that have people on them, even if it is a silhouette, so maybe that would be something to consider putting on your cover. But overall 7/10

Blurb: “belle have one goal and that is kill the beast” your blurb starts off with a grammatically incorrect sentence, and it isn’t very eye catching, instead you could use; “Belle has one goal. Kill the beast.” it's much more eye catching and more likely to persuade readers to click on your book. It's just more interesting. But, i actually really like what you do next - you give us information about your characters, though it is quite wordy at times and could be made a lot different like "The one who you always can confine in" instead it would be better if it was "the one who you always confide in" it's a lot less wordy, and sounds more interesting. Overall 4/10

Plot: your plot is certainly interesting and i’ve loved that you've used the story beauty and the beast to base it off. But in your first chapter, you aren’t 100% catching the reader's attention. You need to catch the reader's attention with the first paragraph to make them want to keep reading. And to be honest, the way you start it just really boring, “I live in a little town, it’s not very quiet, full of not so little people, walking up to say…” that does not catch my attention at all, this first line is not needed at all, just starting your book with “Hey! Watch it…” makes your book much more interesting to start with. I also find that sometimes you're not explaining things properly and i got a bit confused. But overall good job, 5/10

Characters: characters are complex, and you need to explain/show their thoughts and how they react to different things. In your story,  it’s very hard to imagine what the characters look like, you need to show the audience what they look like. Like, not everyone has read beauty and the beast, they don’t know these things. Personality is even more important than how they look, as a reader, we don’t know what the characters are thinking unless you tell us. Like we know belle hates gaston, shes an assassin and cunning - but thats abiut it, what your telling us about her is very repetitive and in a wattpad book after usually 7 or so chapters is when you should start to see some character development, but in your case, you have very long chapters. And that's not a bad thing but since they are longer chapters you qajt to start seeing a bit of character development earlier. 4/10

Setting: as i've said before not everyone has watched beauty and the beast not everyone knows how things look like. And you need to show the audience what the scene really looks like in your and their own imagination. Like are we imagining it to be like the castle in beauty and the beast cartoon or the newer one starring emma watson (omg i loved that movie… i'm sorry i just had to say that). But you need to think about the readers that aren't familiar with the story beauty and the beast. Overall 3/10

Grammar: okay so i've said this hundreds of times before and you can probably already tell that grammar is not a strong point for me. The only thing grammar wise that is bothering me is the fact that your story is really wordy, like you put in lots of unnecessary words in like i said before - from your blurb "The one who you always can confine in" it would be better if it was "the one who you always confide in" or "the one you can always confide in" like its just a lot less wordy, and also to clarify i did mean confide not confine, 1. Because confine is to lock someone somewhere not to tell someone stuff 2. Because if people don't realise that, confide sounds better. Overall 6/10

Your overall score was 39/70

General feedback: great job! It takes tons of courage to even post a book, and be proud of yourself for doing that. You've got a really good storyline going and i cant wait to see more!

Please remember if you have any problems with your review please message me privately. But otherwise great job, I can't wait to see more!!

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