Cruel Angel || Malac × Ares FF

05. Stay. - A horrible decision

Ares Ashwood listened carefully of what they'd to say, nodding even though they couldn't see him, pacing in his room. His senses were on edge, not of pleasure or satisfaction nor of the feeling of love.

It was cold, drowing fear, trying to swallow him whole - to keep him quiet, to stop fighting them of - or to keep him moving. Knowing that when he stopped now, he won't be able to get back up again. And this time, he won't fall again.

His thoughts were running wild and his memories played all over again in his head. Scenes that made him mad, made him frustrated, made him cry.

For all that, he didn't, even though he wanted to be relieved of these pressures. Not in front of the Clave who easily could've been witnesses of his weaknesses. And they already knew so many of his. They didn't need to have him futher in their heart-crushing hold than they had him thus far.

"Your time is running, Ashwood. You know what can happen if you fail, don't you? And I don't want to repeat myself but I get the feeling I don't have to. You know what is waiting for you when you don't bring us what we want." There was a break on the other side of the line as if they were whispering to each other about him. With a quiet, dark chucke that made Ares run a cold shiver over his back, they spoke up one last time and said with finality in their words,
"May he've mercy on you."

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After having a mental breakdown and a few pleasant panic attacks, Ares found himself in the kitchen with two hot chocolates in his hands.

He slowly strolled to the training room, humming "Toxic" from Britney Spears to himself and went up the stairs to see Alec and Hodge talking.

The moment he set foot into the room, Hodge quieted down, looking over his shoulder to Ares. He turned his attention back to Alec and put his hand on his neck, saying, "Don't make the same mistakes I did. Look where it got me," before walking out. As Hodge passed Ares he didn't quite met his eyes, knowing very well that being a member of the circle wasn't his only mistake and definitely not his last.

That's when Ares took a few steps forward towards Alec, holding the two cups up with a small smile.

Both were holding intensely eyes contact, aware that the two were the only other present Shadowhunters of their team here in the institute.
Izzy was busy with her Seelie boyfriend screwing the secret of how to get into the hotel DuMort out of him. Where as Jace and Clary were out searching for their dear Simon.

"You know," Alec took the cup Ares offered as he let his eyes nervously wander,"I was suprised to see you again."

"Me too. I thought you finally had mastered to defend yourself , but guess we're back at the start now, huh?"

There was a short pause where the two lingered in their thoughts as Alec finally spoke up, "Why are you really here, Ares? What made you want to come back from your holidays?"

The sudden questioning startled Ares and he made a desperate try, flashing an innocent smile at Alec, his famous dimples appearing on each side of his cheeks.
But Alec didn't let himself be fooled by his sometimes irresistible charm. He gave Ares a pointed look, which just dared Ares to only tell the truth.

The latter looked at his feet, before tearing his eyes away to look at the training room. The Shadowhunter cleared his throat unpatiently, waiting for some kind of answer.

Ares rolled his jade green eyes and looked up, sighing defeated, "Don't make me lie to you."

Suspicion flashed through Alec's eyes and he looked up again, searching Ares expression in hopes to find some untold truth beneath his words.

"Sooner or later you'll know. Wetherby me or someone else or even through figuring it out yourself. But right now, I can't tell you."

A hurt expression made its way on Alec's face and he looked away.

"And it's not even that I don't want to. Because I really do want to get that weight off my chest-"

"Then why don't you? No one has to know."

"Alec. The whole secret about it - that's what's keeping me alive at the moment," Ares explained, a war going on between his heart and his head, tearing on his calmly held feelings, threatening to destroy his armor. "I'll deal with it as soon as possible and," he cleared his throat, not wanting his voice to break of what he was about to say, "and I'll leave. You'll never have to see me again, if that's what you so desire."

And as much as Ares wanted - ached - to be met with negation, with Alec pleading him to stay and to never let him go, he was met with a silence so loud it made his head hurt.

Cold disappointment exploded through Ares's chest and his heart painfully twitched, like it was hold by an invinsible hand whose goal was to cause just so much pain Ares wouldn't die because of it.

And at once, Ares lost all his vulnerability in his expression and the right corner of his lips hardened into a cruel grin. It was as if he just fixed his amor at the right place before he revealed himself completely.

A quiet laugh escaped his mouth and he looked Alec straight in the face, trying to memorise the caramel brown colour of his eyes. He then bowed a little, "As you wish," before turning to go.

Alec fought with himself before he let his thoughts become one word, "Stay."

Ares stopped dead in his tracks as the word played in his head a hundred times, thinking that he might have heard wrong.
He then nodded slowly, a sign that he understood, leaving Alec alone with his thoughts and worries - fearing that he might change his mind for the better.

Alec watched him leave as he leaned on the table with the arrows and bow, closing his eyes.

Alec knew how much of a risk Ares was to have around. He'd made himself a monstrous name in the Shadow World and he was feared - with right. He'd taken lifes upon lifes, including people with such power Alec didn't even dare to imagine. He broke families apart, taking daughter or son, sister or brother, mother or father, wanting them to feel the same way he'd felt.
Wanting them to understand how cruel life was - and how much worse it was going to become.

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The next chapter is going to be longer. I just have way too much to do to write more right now.

FAREWELL