Nobody's Business

33 - Forgiveness at Deadline

I was tired of people thinking i left because he supposedly got a baby mama or i was fucking with somebody else, it wasn't either. I was mad as hell when Vivian came but with Andre trying to play make up or something i had to leave. 

Vivian nodded, "Have you ever thought of forgiving her?" she asked. I sighed and looked up. 

"No. I haven't." i responded. 

"I lied, i have actually but the thoughts were quickly erased with my hatred for her. Every time i thought of it, i couldn't go through with it. Maybe she did do it out of self defense, she got time for her actions, she has to live with the guilt for the rest of her life. But when i think of actually forgiving her-- i'll think of my dad and wonder what he'll been like now but that's all i could do. he's gone." words aimlessly flown out of mouth. 

"Hatred? I doubt it was hatred Morgan. You probably think it's hatred when its just your heart aching. You don't hate her. You hate what she did." 

i chewed on my bottom lip. 

"Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them." Vivian said, i cocked up an eyebrow. 

"Now where you get that from?" 

She tried to straight face me before a small laugh erupted from inside her, "It's a quote, by Bruce Lee. But seriously Morgan." 

"Look, I don't know what Andre thought that you talking to me would do. But she hasn't tried to admit it, I'm pretty sure all she would say is she was defending her self after being in jail for ten years." 

"She hasn't tried? if she haven't tired than why in hell did Andre give her your address? Why did you go hide out for a while? If she wasn't going to try to do something to make peace. The thing is you haven't let her try. Three's a 99.9% she apologized for her actions in her letters while she served time for her mistakes but no you were holding grudges and didn't even try to look at them. I met your mother before, even though i didn't know about you being her daughter, i could tell something was bothering her but she didn't tell me." 

"Why does it matter whether if i forgive her or not! Im the one traumatized!" 

"So is she, she lost her daughter because of what she done, she know shes wrong. If she thought she was right she wouldn't even waste her breath on trying to apologize to you. I'm not telling you to forget what she did because i'm sure that event is craved into your skull, i'm saying to forgive because if you don't. in the long run it will hurt you and you will regret not doing it." 

I sighed as she picked opened up her purse and pulled out two twenties and placed them on the table. 

"Did you drive?" she asked, 

"No, I let Loren borrow my car so she dropped me off." i mumbled, she nodded and checked her phone. "C'mon." she said, she started to walk before stopping and looking back, "Morgan forreal." I sighed and grabbed my stuff and placed my glasses over my eyes and following her out. 

She walked over to a Cadillac ELR, and unlocked the doors and got inside the driver side, even though it was an odd feeling i got inside the passenger side and she pulled off after i strapped myself in. 

She was going down a main street, when my thoughts basically jumped around in my head. "When did you meet my mother?" i asked. Confused, i remember when she said that. 

"I know Andre because my cousin is divorcing him. I met her a few times during parties." I just nodded. "So it runs in the family huh?" 

"What does?" she asked, she glanced at me for a second before focusing on the road.