ADDICTION | BMLA

eighteen.

"STOP BRANDON," I laughed uncontrollably as I tried to push his hands away. He continued to tickle me while I tossed and turned on the stage. When he finally stopped, he placed his hands on either side of my head and stared down at me laughing. I laughed at him and pushed him off.

"Damn just date already," Nick murmured. I flipped him off and got up. I fixed my skirt and reached down to grab my smoothie.

"IN 60!" Audrey yelled from the side of the stage. I put my boots back on and ran into the curtain. I shuffled down the stairs of the stage and headed for my dressing room. My stuff was laid out in front of me while I grabbed a few products to put on my face. I dragged my eyeliner across my eyes and threw on a pair of fake lashes. I pushed a few strands of hair behind my ears and smiled at my reflection. I stood up from my chair and picked up my bag. I moved some items around until I heard a few knocks on my door. I put my bag down and opened the door.

"You still want that video?" Brandon grinned, leaning on the door frame. I smiled and let him in while the door slowly shut behind him.

"Yes please," I replied. I picked up my bag again and took out a tube of lip gloss. I heard a ring from my phone knowing that Brandon sent the video. "Thank you kind sir," I smiled putting my lip gloss down. Brandon smiled back at me and sat on a small couch.

"Hey Easton I wrote this one song and I wanted you to maybe sing it," Brandon began, "I think it fits your voice."

"Yeah sure hand over the lyrics," I replied walking over to him. He pulled his phone close to him as if he was hiding something.

"Let's do it tonight," Brandon said. I raised my eyebrow and shrugged it off.

"In my room?" I questioned.

"I'll knock," Brandon beamed. I nodded at him and he left the room. I placed my lip gloss onto my table and sat down.

"Hey you," Audrey grinned from the door frame. She carried my mic equipment in her hands and walked over to me. I stood up and lifted my shirt as she wrapped the pouch around my waist. "How's tour treating you?"

"I'm happy." I said with no emotion. Audrey pulled out my mic and put it in my hands.

"I'm glad you're happy," she began, "you deserve it." I frowned at her words and sighed. She placed my ear piece in my ear and wrapped a chord around it. "Have fun tonight bub," she smiled. She left the room and closed the door. I sat back down and rubbed the locket on my chest.

. . .

After the show I gathered all my things and threw it in my backpack. I walked outside the venue door to be greeted by screaming fans waiting behind a grey gate. I smiled and waved as the Prettymuch boys took pictures with the fans. I entered the bus and threw my stuff down on the couch. I spotted s blueberry muffin on the table and took it into my hands.

"HANDS OFF MY MUFFIN," Edwin exclaimed from the door. I quickly took the clear wrappping off and took a huge bite. Edwin entered the bus and threw me over his shoulder.

"IM SORRY PUT ME DOWN," I laughed as I continued eating the muffin. Edwin placed me down and took the leftover muffin from my hands. I went into my room and dug for some makeup wipes. And wiped it across my face until my skin was bare. I hopped into my sheets and listened to the pouring rain from outside. I felt my eyes get heavier and heavier.

. . .

I woke up to gentle knocks against my door. I stretched out of bed and checked the time.

1:11 AM

I groaned and opened the door.

"Brandon it's so early," I complained letting him in. He took his phone from his pocket and sat in my chair. He opened my laptop and went straight to making a beat. "Goodmorning to you too Arreaga," I groaned. After 15 minutes he settled with a soft beat.

"Sing this," he smiled scrolling through his notes. I took his phone as he put my headphones over my ears.

"Even though you seem happy without me I just want you to know," I sang.

"I miss your smile and your warm heart and I'll never let it show."

"That I'm jealous of the wind that blows past your skin while you walk down the street."

"You'd never let me get that close. Never let our ends meet."

"I miss you in my arms on that cold night. My grey sweater hanging right above your knees."

"You laughed at me and placed a sweet kiss on my lips and I never would've believed...."

"That'd I win a beautiful girl just like you and I was down on my knees. And the feeling of your skin on me was very right."

"The feeling was so addictive and I won over an angel that very night."

"It kills me when you say let's go our own ways. And your words slip out of your mouth so gently."

"My only way is where you'll end but I agree with my heart and emotions I didn't say."

"You slipped through my fingers and ran away from me. I wanted you with me and I wanted you to stay."

"I picked up my phone and dialed your number. But who would've known you were doing okay."

"My tears fell down and never left my cheeks. For you would've never let our ends meet."

" 'I love you so much' is all my mind haunts. I need you here with me till the morning comes......"

"If you'd just let me in I'll give you what you want."

The note kept going on as I skimmed the lyrics. I put his phone down on my desk and took off my headphones. Without hesitation I stood up and pushed him.

"Brandon I told you to stop I told you not to do this to me," I cried walking out of the room. Brandon quickly followed behind me as I slammed the door shut. I ran out the bus door well aware that it was raining. I needed to get away. I ran to the right of the bus while the rain soaked my hair. I ran until my legs felt so weak and my heart couldn't breathe. I stopped at a closed cafe with seats still sitting outside in the dark. I sunk down into a seat and folded my arms in my lap. The rain poured harder onto me as my tears slipped down from my neck and into my palms. From the corner of my eye I saw Brandon's face come closer to me. I was too tired to run away and too scared to where that would lead me.

"Ara please come back-"

"Brandon stop!" I sobbed standing up.

"What? Telling you I love you? Telling you that I only want to be with you? Telling you that you're the only one I want?"

"Yes! For God's sake yes! I fucking hate having to bear with myself after you tell me you love me!"

"Ara I love you and it's not going to change."

"Please stop Brandon! Boundaries are boundaries so stop crossing them!"

"There weren't any boundaries when you let me touch you. There weren't any boundaries when you fucked m-" I pushed him away and scoffed.

"Brandon leave me alone and please go back home."

"Ara do you love me?"

"If that's what it takes then no! I don't love you. I don't fucking love you." Brandon looked at me with a straight face. "I'm begging you please be happy without me."

"If it's what makes you happy." Brandon left me and started waking back to the bus. The pain in my chest grew at the sight of him leaving me.

Who would've known that he'd actually pack his things and leave my tour to go home.

To make me happy.