WolfStar One-Shots (Boyxboy)

I'm Sorry (part 2)

I don't want to know why, but it's the thought of never knowing that finally makes me read it.

I pick up the letter and start from where I'd left off.

"I'm sorry... I should've told you how sad I really am. You might've been able to help me.

"Basically, I just don't feel happy anymore. I can't live in a world where people hate me, I can't do it."

It felt like my world was crashing down around me. This is so much worse than I thought. I thought that he had left me... But no, he's left everyone.

Thinking that he might have written where he was, I continued reading.

"I feel so, so alone. Please don't blame yourself, it's my fault for being so stuffed up."

I couldn't help laughing at that, even in a suicide note he can't swear.

"I'm writing this sitting on the Astronomy tower. I know, I know. We graduated years ago, but I still come here sometimes. Dumbledore doesn't mind much. I think he knows what I'm going to do.

"It's peaceful here. 'Serenity' is the word that comes to mind. I don't know why I'm writing so much bs, I'm nervous about being too straightforward. But you probably know by now, I guess."

I could feel my heart sinking into my stomach, yet my stomach was trying to claw it's way out of my body.

No... He wouldn't. Not there. Surely Dumbledore would stop him.

"I'm going to do it. Every time I come here and just think about what would happen if I did. I don't want to be this way anymore, I just want it to feel the way I feel when I'm in the tower, watching the owls fly by in front if the sunset. I want it to feel like it used to when we were together in 7th year. That was a great year, hey.

"The saddest part about this is that this isn't the last time I'll talk to you. I'll go home tonight and tell you how much I love you, how I only live for you. Then I'll come back here in a day or a weeks time and jump. Oh great, now I'm crying. If you're remembering me telling you these things, then you'll know how long ago I wrote this.

"I just want you to know that what I said is true. I love you so much, Sirius. So much, but still not enough to stay.

Goodbye, my love."

Three days. I had three days to save him and I did nothing.

Well if I can't be with him anymore, I'll just have to do something about it.

~~~~

Authors Note:

So yeah. That just happened. It's bad, I know. Ehhh 💩👽