Did you miss me?

I had no idea

Sophie's POV

"What do you want?" I said annoyingly. 

Their expressions turned from confusion to shock. They were definitely not expecting me to receive them this way. Any other person would've apologized or explained themselves, but I didnt. I had had some of the worst years of my life because I spent the whole time blaming myself for them leaving. Wondering why they hadnt told me and if they ever even cared. Not so much Harry and Sam, since I had been closer to Tom, but they had been involved so that included them in the whole story. 

I looked at them, an unchanging look of indifference held on my face. They shifted uncomfortably as they looked at each other wondering what to say. They had probably remembered the fact that they had left me and decided it was best not to question why I had responded that way. Harry, being the more sensible brother decided to answer first. 

"Um, youre mom said to come upstairs to see you" He said, almost instantly regretting what he had said. 

Almost as soon as he said it, I saw Tom lightly elbowing him, knowing it had not been the right thing to say. I didnt blame him for saying that, I knew it didn't mean he didn't want to see me, but that he didnt know what else to say. 

"What he means is we came back home and youre mom invited us all to catch up" Tom said obviously trying to fix what Harry had said. 

"Ok" I nodded, trying to move on from the topic. We all stood there for a bit unsure of what to do next until we heard my mom call from downstairs. 

"Dinner is ready!" She exclaimed. 

We all quickly filed out of my room, longing to get away from the awkwardness and tension that filled the room. When we got downstairs, our parents were all waiting in the kitchen smiling, hoping everything was back to normal. Little did they know that it would take more than just showing up to get back to normal. 

"I made some pasta and salad, I hope that is fine for everyone." She said with a hopeful look as everyone nodded confirming her statement. 

The dinner was filled with the parents asking the three of us questions trying to catch up on our lives, but it seemed more directed so that we'd know things about each other since they had noticed that we hadn't really talked to each other. Once we were all done, I began to clear the table, giving my mom time with her old friends and myself some time alone. 

However, the message clearly hadn't been delivered, since Tom got up and followed me holding some plates. I didnt really mind him helping out, it would move things much quicker, but that was only if he didnt talk; something I really doubted. 

"Hey" he said as soon as we had gotten into the kitchen. 

I internally screamed even though I had seen it coming. I just wished he had the common sense and decency to leave me alone. I didnt need him back in my life, I had been fine that very morning and he was not there. I don't need you I said inside my head hoping he might read my mind and stop talking. Once again, he did not do this. 

"Are you ok?" He asked worriedly, probably wondering why I hadnt answered him. 

"Fine" I said dryly as I turned back toward the dishes and started washing. 

"It doesnt seem like youre fine" He said, obviously trying to start a conversation with me. 

"Look, Im going to be honest. I'm not sure why you are here and I dont think its a good idea." 

"What do you mean?" He said as a hurt look began taking over his face. 

"Never mind" I said as I sighed and started working again. 

"No, tell me. I want to know."

"Of course you do." I said putting the plate down and looking back at him. "I just" I started saying before my mom walked into the room, interrupting my train of thought. 

"Hey, Soph I can do this. You kids can head over to your room if you want."

"No, its fine" I said, hoping she would see my plea for help in my eyes. 

"Go ahead" she said as she lightly shoved me, taking the plate from my hands and shoving me over. 

"O-ok" I said nervously drying my hands before I started walking towards my room. 

Tom followed me closely behind, obviously wanting to finish the conversation. When I got to my room, I sat on my bed, and he went to my desk, sitting at my chair. 

"So...you were saying"

"I dont know where to start..."

"The beginning might be nice" he said clearly trying to make a joke like he always used to when things got awkward or sad. 

"Ok, well you remember 7 years ago right?" I waited for his confirmation, hoping he did and that I hadnt made everything up. He nodded so I continued. "Well, you were my best friend, and that day at graduation, you just-y-yo...you left...and, you never said goodbye" I started stuttering and I found myself unable to finish my sentence, as I had just started crying. 

Through my tears eyes I looked up and saw Tom, a look of realization on his face. He must've forgotten or not thought about how it might affect me. Not selfishly, obviously, Tom had always been very kind. He was probably focused on his future and not mine. The only thing that didnt make sense about that theory was the moment when we were saying goodbye at graduation: You have to go soon. Don't let me distract you, Im fine. He had told me before we left. He had looked hurt, like he knew he was leaving me and didn't want to. 

"I had no idea" he whispered suddenly. 

"What?" I said, unsure of what I had just heard. 

"I had no idea" He repeated, louder this time. "That it would hurt you so bad. They told me it was best, I had to, I didn't want to I'm sorry, I'm sorry" He started rambling saying a bunch of indecipherable things. 

"Hey, hey, here its ok" I said walking over to him and giving him a hug. I had been so caught up in hating him, thinking it was all his fault for leaving me that I hadnt thought of what he might feel, and even though I was still angry, I knew I would hate myself if I didn't try and make him feel better.