Life In Technicolor || Ashton Irwin

Chapter 30

It stays silent for a while before I hear Ashton snoring. I exhale deeply. We're only going in circles.

~~~

"Luke, I'm getting sick and tired of this." I tell him with a sniffle.

"Aw, c'mon. Don't cry." He says, wrapping his arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer to his chest.

"We don't even talk anymore. We just fight. I don't even know what's happening."

"You're both just stressed out. I'm sure you'll both get over it soon." Luke comforts me.

"My head hurts all the time from crying." I whisper. "Everything was so good at first, Luke. Now it's horrible."

"Sometimes that happens in relationships." Luke tells me. "You're really happy at first and everything is perfect and then you just realize it was just physical attraction and you get over it. I mean, you and Ashton really like each other, but not everything is meant to work out, you know?"

"So you think we should break up?" I ask, looking up at him.

"Hell no." He says. "That's not what I mean at all. Well, I mean. Kind of. I don't want you to break up with him because I suggested it. I mean, like, fuck. This is all coming out wrong. I mean, if you're more upset than happy, it obviously isn't a good relationship. And he can't just use you as an emotional punching bag, you know? You're just taking all the shit he's giving you because you love him and that's not healthy, Valerie. Do you understand what I'm saying now?"

"Yeah." I tell him quietly. "I think I do."

"I know you care about him, but you have to care about you too." He tells me, gently.

"Why are you always right?" I groan.

"I'm not always right. I'm probably wrong right now."

"No, you're right. This isn't healthy. I mean, I love the shit out of Ashton, but I just can't do this anymore. It's so draining." I tell Luke with a frown.

"So what are you gonna do?" He asks.

"I don't wanna break up with him. Do you think we can try to make it work?"

"What do you think?" Luke asks.

"I know I should break up with him, but I can't. I mean, he's told me he'd stop yelling at me for like a week now and look where we are." I say with a sad laugh. "I don't know, Luke. He's changed. He didn't even invite me to see you guys perform at that bar thing the other week."

"I think he was just really nervous, you know? I was nervous too. I think he'd be even more nervous if you went, because if he screwed up, he'd disappoint you too. Ashton's a pretty self-conscious person even though he comes off like a cocky son of a bitch."

"I don't know what to do, Luke."

"You don't have to make a decision right now." Luke says. "Just think it over. I'm here if you need me, okay?"

"Thanks." I tell him with a gentle smile. "I should get home."

"You sure you're okay?" Luke asks, standing up and walking me to the door. "I feel like the better Ashton is doing, the worse you are."

"No, I'm good. Just stressed out. I'll get over it."

"You sure?" He asks, frowning.

"Yeah." I tell him with a small smile. "Thanks for talking to me, Luke."

"No problem." He says.

I take a step forward and hug him. He sighs and hugs me back tightly. "Thank you." I tell him again.

"Hey, like I said, it's no problem." He tells me with a smile as he pulls away.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" I ask him.

"Yeah." I say with a smile.

Luke opens the door and it hits my back, sending me forward on top of him. He falls onto the ground on his back with a groan and I fall on top of him with a squeal. He groans and tilts his head up. His lips press against mine and he immediately pulls away, his eyes wide.

"Fuck!" He says.

My eyes widen as I scramble off of him.

"Holy shit, I'm so sorry!" He says, his voice frantic. "I'm so fucking sorry! Holy shit, Ashton's gonna kill me! Fuck, I'm a terrible person! Is your back okay? I'm so fucking clumsy! Fucking hell, he's going to castrate me!"

"Luke, calm down!" I tell him. "It was an accident!" I call out. "It was an accident, right?"

"Yes, I fucking swear! Oh fuck!" He groans, putting his head in his hands. "I'm dead! I'm a fucking dead man!"

"Luke! Calm down! It was an accident!" I say. "Ashton doesn't even have to find out, okay? This can stay between us. Just calm down. It wasn't a big deal. It was an accident." I tell him, trying to calm him down.

"Okay. Okay." He says, running his hands through his hair, pacing across the floor nervously. "He doesn't have to know."

"Let's just never talk about it again, okay? It didn't happen." I tell him. "It didn't happen."

"Oh, I'm pretty sure it happened."

Fuck.

I turn around and see Ashton, leaning against the doorframe.

"Ashton, it was an accident-" I start.

"Sure it was." He says with a smile. "I'm just really glad I found out about you two now."

"Ashton, you need to listen to me." I tell him. "You need to listen to me."

"Seriously, mate. It was an accident." Luke says, his voice trembling.

"You guys don't have to lie to me." Ashton says with a laugh. "But I knew it the whole fucking time."

"What do you mean, the whole fucking time?" I ask, confused.

"Ever since you and I got together, you've been fucking Luke behind my back." He says simply.

"Ashton, that's a lie." I tell him. "That's a fucking lie. I love you."

"That's really funny, Valerie. You know, it's my fault for believing you at all." He turns to face Luke. "And you. Fuck you." He spits. "How could you do this behind my back?" He yells. "We were best friends, Luke!"

"Ashton, you're not listening!" Luke says. "It was an accident! I opened the door, it hit her back, she fell on top of me, I looked up, and her face was like, right there! I'm sorry, okay?"

"Bullshit!" Ashton says. He turns to face me. "Valerie, I can't do this anymore." He says. "I'm done with you."

"Done with me?" I ask, my voice cracking.

"Yeah. Done with you." He repeats. "And Luke, don't ever fucking talk to me again. I quit the fucking band!" He yells before slamming the door shut.

"Well at least you don't have to go through the trouble of breaking up with him." Luke tells me with a sheepish grin.

"Luke!" I squeak, covering my mouth with my hands as tears slide down my face.

"Too soon?"

so this book is almost over ??? but dont worry the sequel will be up soon :)