Ambivalence • Jayfeather X Reader •

~Jayfeather X Reader~|23|

"Thats because shes selfless. And besides, it doesnt even make her a warrior. It makes her a cat."

"If a dog decided to follow the warrior code, would you call it  a cat?"

"Thats completely unrelated!"

"You know what else is unrelated? Shes probably in a dream state listening to this conversation right now because you didnt give up yet. I have more experience here than you do."

"Thats actually completely related."

"See if I care, you piece of fox dung. I know what im saying, whats happening, and I have experience with it. More experience than you have!" 

"You dont have any experience at being a loner, though! You dont know what its like. We arent just cats that look after themself with no sympathy for others. She taught me that. You dont know what its like to adopt a kit and be forced to leave them and watch them suffer with nobody to care for them because thats just the situation they're born  in! You dont know anything about what shes been through! Stop acting like you've watched over her through everything or like you know someone who has." 

"..."

"Look, im sorry-"

"You. Dont. Know. Anything. About. Me." 

The dream ends. 

The last thing [Y/W/N] can see is [Y/L/N]s shocked and confused expression before the fades to another flashback.

-Flashback 7-

It was when [Y/L/N] was smaller. Her mother had left her already and she didnt have much memory of her, and she didnt know Zapper yet. She was exploring her territory more. She comes across a bush that grew dangerous berries, known as deathberries, but she didnt know what they were yet. Her mother never told her of them. She always steered [Y/L/N] away from the bushes, but never talked about what they were. Her ears tilt at the smell; they smelled foul, but sweet. Before she could get any closer, something begins batting at her tail. She sharply turns around, but nothing was there. She was about to start checking the bushes until she sees a mouse nibbling on one of the berries. She tilts her head. It didnt even see her? The mouse was only a few fox lengths away from her. When the mouse begins crippling, [Y/L/N]s eyes widen. It starts making choking noises and [Y/L/N] quickly kills it to end its pain quicker. "Poor thing," she muttered. [Y/L/N] thinks it was her mom telling her to look out and smiles gently. After burying the mouse out of respect, she begins to hear a mutter. "And to think I would never find  a cat giving so much attention to a mouse." She wants to think its her mom again, but this voice sounded like a tom. Maybe it was her dad?

-Flashback 8-

[Y/W/N]  saw herself as an older cat. It was probably soon before she found Zapper. She was standing protectively in front of her waterfall, glaring at two kittypets about to head into the forest. Could they really be so stupid? Hadnt they heard of the wild cats? They didnt show any signs of stopping. [Y/L/N] quickly and cautiously ran up to them. "Mouse brains! Where do you think you're going?" The black and white one leaps into the air from fright. The other one has long, gray fur and hardly even seemed surprised. "Are you a wild cat?" She asked with excitement in her eyes. "No, im not, and you shouldnt be looking for them. I dont know if the rumors are true or not but you shouldnt risk getting hurt." Now, even as a loner, [Y/L/N] clearly was stronger than these two cats combined. Leaping and running was normal for her simply as something to do, while these two seemed to know how to eat and thats about it. When the black and white one becomes conscious again, he  fluffs out his fur and tries to look mean. "Im not scared of you. Dont h-hurt my friend!" [Y/L/N] rolls her eyes playfully. "Calm down, im not going to hurt either of you. Im a loner and I dont want trouble, so what are you two kittypets doing out here?" The gray one speaks up again. "We wanted to see what the wild cats were really like. How dangerous can it really be? Im sure they're lovely. By the way, my name is Velvet." "And im Ajax." Soon a brown tabby tom hurls himself after them. Welp. [Y/L/N] thinks shes seen fat, but he just wipes all of the other fat cats shes seen off the chart. Literally. "Hi! Im Fuzzball! Are you a wild cat? Whats it like living in the wild? Do you fight a lot? Do you kill? Woah! Do you kill DOGS? Wait... Do you kill other cats? You seem nice so ill trust you. Is it nice out here? Do you like the forest? Do you even live in the forest? Are there other c-" "Stop. Just stop." [Y/L/N] hisses. Fuzzball flattens his ears. "My name is [Y/L/N]. Im not a wild cat, im not going to hurt any of you, and you all need to go back to your twolegs. I dont have the answers to any of your questions, Fuzzball, and im sure the wild cats arent as wild as told, but you shouldnt risk it. We're already too close to their territory." [Y/L/N] quickly explains. Velvet purrs gently. "Thanks for the warning, [Y/L/N]." Ajax rolls his eyes. "I was really planning to try a mouse, though." Fuzzball just looks down in disappointment. "Who said you couldnt try a mouse?" Ajax leaps onto his legs. Velvet perks up almost immediately, and Fuzzball falls over because of how fast his head bolted up. "I know a good hunting place, but the forest shouldnt be where you guys go for this kind of thing. Come on." [Y/L/N] beckons them with her tail and can feel a pair of hard orange eyes  along with another pair of blue ones on her behind one of the trees. She quickly leads them back to her den where they can hunt, not daring to look back.