Dissonance - Book One

thirty-one

"With this," Lex removes a badge tucked into the back of her pants.

"How did you get that?" I ask, grabbing it from her hand.

"Oh please, men are so predictable. Even with the world imploding, all they do is think with their dicks."

Wyler and I raise our eyebrows at her insinuation.

"Calm down you two. Like I would ever cheat on you Wylie." She bats her eyes and I want to puke. I hate that she has a pet name for him, both because it's an obnoxious nickname and because it reminds me of how close they are.

"I just used a little harmless flirting to distract him. Men are such simple creatures. Sorry Wylie."

Blah. There it was again.

"Alright, so what's the plan?" Wyler tries to change the subject when he sees me noticeably cringe at Lex's use of his pet name.

"Well for starters, I think we all need to get some rest. You two look terrible."

"We can't rest Lex. Thanks to your sleight of hand with Jacobs, he's probably going to be headed our way as soon as he realizes his pass is gone. Plus, I don't think it's going to get us anywhere. From everything I've witnessed so far, fingerprint identification is needed to get in and out of this place."

"Exactly," Lex replies, undeterred. "Which is precisely why I took his pass. When he realizes it's gone, I'll be the first person he'll suspect and I'm guessing he's going to be furious, but he'll also feel pretty stupid. I've spent at least 24 hours with these knuckleheads and one thing I've observed is that Cavanaugh runs the show and makes Jacobs feel like an idiot when he screws up, which, from what I can tell, happens a lot. He won't want to tell Cavanaugh that he got his pass swiped by me, so he'll head here by himself. When he arrives, we can jump him, take his gun and force him to get us out."

I have to hand it to Lex; sometimes she is smarter than she appears. This is what I mean when I say she is a survivor. She always finds a way to get herself out of sticky situations, whether it was escaping detention after getting busted for skipping class, or apparently, hatching a plan to escape an underground fortress while being held captive by the government. Her plan isn't perfect, but it isn't horrible either. Of course, that could be the fatigue talking.

Wyler and I look at each other and he shrugs.

"It's worth a shot. If these guys have anything to do with the men who came after us last night, then they mean business, and I don't really want to stick around to see what kind of business they're in."

"Okay Lex, we'll go with your plan. So when he comes in..." I stumble and reach my hand out towards the wall, trying to steady myself.

"Look, first thing's first. We all need some sleep," Lex orders.

"But what if he comes back tonight?" I ask, as Wyler helps me back to an upright position.

"It's doubtful. Last night, Jacobs drank until he passed out, something Cavanaugh mentioned he's often in the habit of doing. I guarantee we won't see him until the morning, so let's stop sitting around arguing about this and get some rest."

I momentarily try to object, but my efforts are futile. She's right. I can barely keep my eyes open and the way I'm listing, I might as well be drunk myself. We need sleep.

"Here Ever, you take that bed and Wyler and I will sleep on the other one."

"Oh, sure, okay," I stammer. The prospect of having to sleep a few feet away from Wyler while he's snuggled up next to Lex sounds like a torturous evening. Despite my exhaustion, sleeping might be harder than I had hoped. So much for a good night's rest.

"That's okay," Wyler jumps in. "I can just sleep on the floor."

"Don't be ridiculous," Lex says, grabbing his forearm and pulling him towards the bed. "I could use a good snuggle. It's been a rough couple days."

"Since when do you like to snuggle?"

"Since now," she says, eyeing him in a seductive manner.

I have to stop myself from making a gagging noise. We all climb into our respective beds. Me, alone in mine, and Lex, acting like the big spoon to Wyler as he faces me.

I click off the light switch and Wyler's face comes into view as my eyes adjust to the darkness. His eyebrows are furrowed and he's giving me a look that says he's sorry, that he wishes he was with me.

"Wyler," Lex mutters in annoyance, pulling at him to roll over and face her. I turn to face the wall before I can see what he decides to do. I can't bear to watch them snuggle in front of me and I can't stare into his eyes all night either. If I wasn't so exhausted, I would probably lie awake, being tortured by the thoughts of her hands all over his body, but luckily for me, my exhaustion has driven me to near insanity and I fall into a deep sleep almost immediately. If only it were dreamless.

***

"Mommy, why are we packing? Are we going on vacation?" I ask as I watch my mother toss shirts, pants and other items into a suitcase.

"Uh, yes, a trip sweetheart. We're going on a trip."

"How long will we be gone?"

"I don't know my darling."

She seems anxious.

"Where are we going?"

"I can't tell you that sweetie."

She continues to pack at a frantic pace.

"Why?"

"Why? Well, uh...it's a surprise."

"Oh, I like surprises mommy!"

"I know you do honey. Now go to your room and pick out your favorite stuffed animal to bring with us. Just one, okay?"

"Why just one? I want to bring them all."

"Because sweetie," she gets down on her knees, grabbing my arms and looking me straight in the eyes. "I need you to do what I ask baby, and I need you to do it quickly. Do you understand?"

I've never seen my mother like this before. She seems...nervous...scared.

"Okay mommy."

As I enter my room, there is a seemingly never-ending pile of stuffed animals that stretches from floor to ceiling. It must be twenty feet high. There's a carnival fun house-esque feeling to the entire room, as if when I look up at the top of the pile, the ceiling itself expands as my head lifts.

I want the blue bear; I think to myself. At the top. The tippy top. I begin to climb the pile and one by one the animals slip away beneath me so that instead of climbing higher, the pile falls away, the bear coming to me. It's almost in my grasp. I can just about reach it.

"Ah ha!" I shout, grabbing it and pulling it to my chest, but as I push the bear away to look at it, I scream in horror. It's covered in blood. My hands are covered in blood. It's everywhere. On my bed. On the walls. On the cornstalks. On the cornstalks. The cornstalks.

I jolt straight up, panting heavily. Sweat drips down my brow. The room is pitch black. It takes me a minute to orient myself, to remember where I am. It must be the middle of the night, although really it could be any time of day. There are no clocks and no windows to let light in, but Lex and Wyler are still asleep and I don't hear any noises from the corridor, so I assume it's still nighttime. It was a dream. A dream. I don't move. I sit still. I take deep breaths in and out, focusing on the darkness. I lay back down, close my eyes, and for the first time, I let my brain take me to the horrible places it wants me to go. Perhaps I've been my own worst enemy this whole time, trying to fight my nightmares. Perhaps they aren't nightmares at all. Perhaps they are real, and they are trying to send me a message.