Strings Attached

~Chapter 15~

A shudder passes through me at the thought. The smell of food wafts through the air making way to my nose and my stomach growls in answer.

It's almost Zuhr time and I haven't had anything since last night. I didn't have any breakfast either. The thought that nobody remembered me clogs my throat but I quickly swallow it with some courage.

It's no use feeling homesick. I've brought this upon myself. And I will bear it quietly. It's not like anybody's coming to comfort me. I've no connection with the people in this house.

My phone rings shrilly, shaking me up from my thoughts and I detach myself from the windowsill to attend the call. Muttering a quick prayer that it isn't anybody from home, I look at the caller ID and sigh in relief. Its Caroline.

"Hey!" I try to make my voice extra cheerful. And since she doesn't know me that well, she doesn't pick up on it. I can't help but think of Sammy. She'd have caught me dead on. I will myself not to cry.

'You're okay. You're okay,' I chant under my breath until I hear a reply from the other side.

"Hi, Hadi!! Why did you not come to school today? It was a very good day, we had so much fun," Caroline answers enthusiastically, using the nickname I've told her to call me by. It's the easiest for her to pronounce.

I smile at her accent. It's helplessly European. "Yeah, I... wasn't really well. Had a fever last night, so I decided to skip school for the day. Don't have too much fun without me though." I steered the conversation before she could interrogate me further.

"Oh, I cannot... what do they say, warranty you that!" Her sentence makes me laugh. And I lightly correct her. "It's guarantee, not warranty, dear."

"What's the difference? They're all same to me." "Well, come to think of it, I don't know the difference either; but I do know in that sentence, the other word will be used. Remember that next time!"

"Okay, teacher, I will." I'm glad she forgot about my lame excuse. Or didn't push me for an explanation.

"Hadi...?" the girl uncertainly speaks up from the other side, and my ears perk up at her tone. Guess I thought too soon. "Yeah?" I ask deliberately. "Are you missing home?" Her question catches me off-guard, yet I know nobody else will ask me that but her.

My throat begins to clog instantly and after some seconds of swallowing, I let out a breathy "Yes". We keep quiet for a long time after that and eventually excusing herself, Caroline hangs up.

We are two emotionally inept people.

_____

Every time I try to be normal afterwards, the reality of last night hits me square in the face and I'm back to an emotionally charged roller coaster of regrets. I won't live this down anytime soon.

I've prayed Zuhr and I haven't left the room yet. So, obviously, by now I'm starving. The commotion downstairs has died down a little, and it's pretty quiet. Guess the two troublemakers got tired. I think the maid left too. What a stupid creature! She needs to be babysat more than Ayaan.

With a distant memory coming to fore in my mind, I remember I was to look after the two of them. And I slump a bit more against the wall I'm sitting by, clutching my head in defeat.

What am I supposed to do with my life? How shall I go on at this rate? Will I be able to face him again? Will I be able to face anyone again?

Nobody has to know... except Hiba. But Hiba knowing about it equals everyone knowing about it. Though, if I know anything about her, I know she's very jealous; more particularly, of me.