Dye | Tyrus/Ambi

Part 16: Secret

"What's up?" Jonah asks. 

"How was your date?" Buffy asks. 

"It was fine," Cyrus replies, but it's clear that he's holding something back. "I don't know."

"TJ said he thinks he did something wrong," I mention. 

"TJ told you that?" Jonah questions.

"He's Amber's brother," I explain.

"He didn't do anything wrong," Cyrus corrects. "Well, I don't know. We went to this place, and his friends showed up, and he immediately wanted to leave. I shouldn't be so upset about it, but it just feels kinda bad when he's constantly trying to hide me from his friends. It's like he's ashamed by me."

"Cyrus," I say, "he seems to feel pretty bad about it too. Maybe just try talking to him."

"I have," Cyrus replies. "It never gets anywhere. He's too scared of what his friends will think of him being gay and being with me, and I get it. I do. But I hate being this secret he needs to hide."

"Well, remember," Buffy says, "if he breaks your heart, you just say the word, and I'll teach him why he shouldn't mess with my best friend."

"Thanks, Buffy, but it's okay," Cyrus responds. "I just don't know how long he's planning to hide me from everyone."

"I'm sorry," I say. "I guess I'm really lucky that Amber isn't doing everything she can to keep me a secret from her friends."

"Yeah," Cyrus says. "How was your date, anyway?"

"It was good," I answer.

I feel a little guilty about bringing up my good night when Cyrus had such a bad one. 

"That's great," Cyrus says. "I'm happy for you."

He smiles, but his eyes look so sad that I can't smile back. 

"You don't have to pretend to be happy," I tell him. 

"Andi, I'm honestly happy for you," he assures me. "I can be happy for you and sad for myself at the same time."

"Hey, sorry, guys," Jonah interrupts. "I've gotta go."

"Yeah, that's fine," Cyrus responds. "I'm actually kind of tired too, so I'll see you guys on Monday."

"Okay," Buffy says, her eyes looking just as concerned for our friend as I am. "Text me if you need anything."

"Same goes for me," I agree.

Cyrus gives us a smile and taps his phone, making his screen of the picture disappear, leaving just Buffy and I.

"Do you think TJ's going to hurt him?" Buffy asks. 

I glance back at the doorway to the kitchen where the distressed boy went in the talk to his sister.

"I don't know," I reply. "If he does, I don't think it will be on purpose."

"I hope not," Buffy responds. 

"Yeah," I agree, "me too."

_________________________________________

TJ's POV

While the basketball bounces back to me after passing through the net, I see a figure in the doorway and look over to see Cyrus watching me. I smile at him, expecting him to come over right away, but instead he takes a minute to glance over somewhere else and consider it before entering the gym. That second of hesitation makes me nervous as he approaches me with a smile which looks less bright than usual. 

"Hey," I say. "What's going on?"

"Not much," Cyrus replies. "You're practicing again?"

"It tends to help me sort through my thoughts," I explain. 

I came here to think about what Amber said last night when I talked to her about Cyrus. She said that if I want to be with him, then I need to start putting him first. But my friends don't even think I should be talking to Cyrus, let alone dating him. I do want to let Cyrus know how much I care about him, but I don't want my friends seeing me with him. They could all turn against me because I'm friends with this boy whom they think shouldn't associate with us. I've been friends with them since elementary school. I don't know what I'd do if I suddenly lost my place in that group.

"I see," Cyrus responds. "Any chance we could talk?"

At that instant, I hear the familiar voices of some guys I know, and I look past Cyrus' head to see some of my friends talking outside the doorway. My blood goes cold in fear when I realize they're glancing between me and each other while they talk. Cyrus turns back to see what's drained the colour from my face, and then he returns his eyes to me, his faint smile completely wiped away from his face. 

"Yeah," he says, not even waiting for me to process what's happening, "I'll leave."

He takes off past me, and my eyes follow him as he speed-walks toward one of the far doors. 

"No, Cyrus . . ."

He's already gone before I can finish what I was about to say. What was I about to say? I wanted to ask him to stay, but I know I couldn't do that. It just doesn't feel right seeing him go. 

As the door behind him falls shut, the footsteps of my friends patter into the gym, and I spin back around to see them coming up to me. Unlike usual, they don't look so carefree and cool. They actually seem stressed, and the first words that come out of Reed's mouth let me know why.

"You'll never guess what Chloe just told us," he starts. "She said the reason you two didn't go out was because you have a boyfriend already."

My entire body tenses up, and I feel my arm squeeze the basketball under it even tighter, as if bracing for a bomb to fall. 

"That's weird," I respond, trying to act surprised. 

"Dude, is she right?" Lester interrogates. "Are you gay?"

How do I answer that? I'm not ready for them to know. I'm not ready for everything to change.

"I, um—"

"Is it that nerd you were hanging around?" Ross interrupts. "That, um . . ."

"Cyrus," Reed finishes for him. "Is it him? Are you gay for him or something?"

"No, no!" I snap. "Look, Cyrus is nobody. He's just some kid who talks to me. That's it."

The lie burns like bleach in my throat, but it seems to convince my friends not to push any further. 

"Okay," Lester says. "Sorry we doubted you. You just seem a little off lately."

"No," I respond, "I'm not. Don't worry."

"Good," Lester says. "We'll leave you to practice, then."

Him and the rest of the guys depart from the room, going back in the direction from which they came. As they blend into the crowd of teenagers in the hallway, I let out a breath and turn back to the basketball net to continue practicing my throws. But my eyes don't go to the net. Instead, they fall onto the brown-haired boy staring at me in the doorway, his watery eyes holding an expression like he's just been torn to shreds. The instant our eyes connect, he darts away. 

I run to the doorway, calling out, "Cyrus!"

When I get to the hall and find nothing but a few kids whose eyes have turned to me as I frantically scan my surroundings for any sight of the boy, that's when I know for sure that I fucked up. 

A/N: Hello. I was going to post this last night, but I was tired, so I decided instead to waste twenty minutes to read it over in the morning and update before work today. I probably won't have an update tonight, because my cousins are coming over, but ima try to have one for tomorrow. Love y'all. Bye!