Bellarke One-shots

After it all, you left me

"Bellamy," I pause, "I need you. And we don't have much time-" I begin to say but he cuts me off.

"You need me?" He asks calmly, yet you could see the anger rising in him.

"Yes, I do. I need the guy, who wouldn't let me pull that lever in Mount Weather by myself." I beg, practically on my knees at this point. I really did need him.

"You left me." He took a deep breath and I can see how badly I've hurt him. His eyes got glossy, trying to hold back any emotion. He couldn't trust me like he used to with his feelings. I ruined that.

"You left everyone!" His quiet voice suddenly booms.

"Bellamy-"

"Enough Clarke! You are not in charge here. And that's a good thing because people die when you are in charge." He says harshly. Ouch, that one hurt pretty bad, but he wasn't done yet.

"You were willing to let a bomb drop on my sister!" He says angrily, and I can tell we aren't talking as past co-leaders anymore. We were talking as past friends. This was personal for him. I guess I didn't realize how badly me leaving affected him.

"Then, you made a deal with Lexa, who left us in Mount Weather to die, and forced us to kill everyone who helped us!" He yells and I feel a single tear slide down my cheek.

"People who trusted me!" His voice echos and I can see a tear of his own fall down his cheek. "Then, after everything, you left me." He adds sadly.

"I-" I try to say something but a sob interrupts me. I put my face in my hands as sob after sob, tear after tear, leaves my body. I tried to calm down, bring myself back, but I couldn't. He really blamed all of that on me, when I was just trying to be the best leader. I knew everyone else did, but I had hope for him. Maybe it really was my fault. Maybe it was time for me to take responsibility for actions.

"Clarke," I hear his voice say quietly and his footsteps grow closer to my seated body. "Clarke, I'm sorry-" he begins to say, grabbing my wrist but I yank it from his grasp.

"No." I attempt to say strongly, but I felt everything but strong right now. "It's my turn to talk this time." I take a deep breath and he looks at me regretfully. Tears streaked his face like they did mine, and for once I wish I could see him not so mad or sad. I wish I could see him as a friend again. I missed him more than anything while I was gone. Now, I still miss him. Because I might be next to him right now, but I've never felt so far away.

"I'm sorry." I say quietly. "I'm sorry, for everything. But, I had my reasons for what I did. Let me start with the bomb on TonDC." I take a deep breath, knowing this is going to be a long speech.

"You think, that it was easy for me to let a bomb drop on our people?" I ask rhetorically.

"Clarke I didn't mean it that way-"

"No. I'm talking now." I state firmly again. "I'm friends with your sister Bellamy! Hell, I love her. I love her almost as much as I love-" I cut myself off, my own words that I was about to say just processing through my head. Now isn't the time to fall in love Clarke, and now certainly was the time to tell those feelings to the man I was in love with.

"I had to let it drop, because if I didn't, the people in Mount Weather would find you, and kill you." He opens his mouth to say something but this time I cut him off before he even has the chance to start speaking.

"I know. You didn't ask me to do that but I-" I could feel more tears build in my eyes and my voice got weaker as I tried harder and harder to hold them back.

"I meant what I said that day. When I told you, I couldn't lose you too. Because I really and truly cannot lose another person I care about Bellamy." I say a little quieter as I try to find my voice again. I chose my words carefully, scared to say too much. This time, he stayed silent, avoiding looking into my eyes.