My Freak Show Life (BWWM)

Chapter 13: Closure

"I want to apologize" he says snapping me out of my stare. "I shouldn't have done what I did."

"Darn skippy" someone adds making me glance behind him to see an elderly blonde woman.

"Why?" I ask softly.

"I liked you, always have but no one took us serious. Made a joke out of the both of us." He looks down, "I guess it took a bigger toll on me than I let show."

"Idiot" I resist the urge to laugh at the sassy woman.

"You let them make a fool of me when I trusted you."

"I know. I was fucking stupid to listen to anyone and I shouldn't have done what I did. I shouldn't have gotten that drunk either."

"You weren't raised like that."

"Why'd you continue afterwards? Hadn't you done enough?" I ask playing with my fingers.

"I couldn't handle the fact that I fucked up so badly. It was a lot easier being an ass to you than to admit that I was wrong. To admit..." he pauses, "that I love you."

"Idiot."

"Why are you telling me this Grant?" I ask glancing up at him through my lashes.

"I feel bad and want us to start anew."

I eye him, "I loved you so hard. You were my first crush. I kissed the ground you walked on. You could do no wrong to me. You met a damaged girl and slowly built her up when she needed it the most." I wipe my falling tears, "but you took that damaged girl and broke her to a million little pieces and you didn't look back. Do you know how that felt? After all the conversations we had together. How could you?"

He wipes my tears away cupping my face, "I'm sorry princess."

I snap my head up looking at him. I haven't heard that nickname since that night. What use to make my heart soar and butterflies erupt in my stomach now makes me feel like I'm being stabbed. What Grant and I had was beyond amazing until that party. He was proud to be see with me despite all the bullshit. I was happy to be with him despite the multiple warnings from Issy and Charlie. We'd spend hours on the phone talking about any and everything under the sun. he made me laugh when laughter was few and far between for me. He killed me.

"Please don't call me that" I whisper.

"Tell him again sweetie. Shit if I was you I would've kicked him in the balls." I laugh softly covering it with a small cough. "You can see me?"

I nod, "thank you for your apology." I get up.

"Wait" he says grabbing my hand. "Can we try again?"

I turn to face him before pulling him down into a kiss. He groans kissing me back before I pull away. "You broke me Grant. I can't go through that again." I turn away walking back into school. I'm late for class but I know nobody will say anything.

Kissing Grant use to make the world around me disappear and lift me up off my feet. But now, nothing at all. I feel absolutely nothing for him. I can't even bring myself to hate him anymore. But I never knew how badly I needed that conversation until it happened. It finally feels like I've closed a big chapter of my life. The guys were right, I was giving Grant too much power over my life. Until I got that closure I was never going to be able to move on with my life. Now I can. Though I didn't really need to kiss him for that. Think a little part of me was being vindictive. To him and to my boyfriends. I've come to the conclusion that them placing a fake friend into my life for protection isn't the worst thing they could've done. And I can thank Grant for that. He did some crappy things leading up to that party and afterwards, so overprotective boyfriends aren't that bad. I can't even be mad at Zoey, all she sis was follow the orders her Alpha gave. She had no choice in the matter. I'm tired of the negative energy.