The Scarred Neko

Chapter 3

I woke up with a start.

"How did you get in here without a nurse?!" I heard one of the nurses scold me.

I rubbed my head. Ow. I had a blistering headache. I wasn't in the mood. I traced the source of the headache down to my neck. There, I felt two small holes and everytime I touched them my face grew warm.

"Wha-"

Before I could look at them, the nurse took me by my arm and led me to the cafeteria. Bleh.

Today they were serving sandwiches, spaghetti, and Mac and cheese. In other words, shit hell and Ew don't even try.

I went through the line and grabbed a milk carton and I saw the forks. I really could use one of those.. If I keep it and use it before I go to bed then they won't find it..

I grabbed the fork and slipped it into my white clothes as I walked out of line to go sit by myself.

I sat down and I had forgot all about the holes in my neck. I started feeling them again while I slightly winced and blushed. I wonder what happened..

I shrugged and disregarded them for now. I opened my carton and licked at the creamy goodness of the milk. This is the only part of my day that I actually like. Yummy.

After I got done, I asked the nurse to take me to the restroom. She escorted me and the fork felt like a lump in my clothes. I was getting so excited I could feel my fingers getting staticky.I haven't cut myself for at least a month.

I got in the stall and heaved a sigh or relief as I took the fork out of my clothes.

I stared at it blankly for a few seconds.

Where should I cut today?

Legs?

Arms?

Stomach?

All of the above?

Ill go with all of the above.

I pressed the fork to my skin and pressed as hard as I could. Red dots of blood dotted my wrist.

Yes. This felt so good.

I actually smiled.

I continued on my wrists, then my legs, and at last my stomach.

There's a reason why the clothes are white. I looked down to see my outfit dotted everywhere with red. Oh great. Ill be escorted to the severely watched ward now.

I huffed a breath of air as I stepped outside and the nurse gaped at me.

"Wha- what did you do!?"

She quickly ran me to the infirmary and I had bandages wrapped around my arms and legs and stomach.

They lectured me for some time.

I had zoned out and wasn't listening at all. They then escorted me to the other ward and checked me and they made me strip. Great. I already hated myself enough. Now this.

I left the fork in the bathroom so they deemed me clean.

I laid down in my bed as I looked at the ceiling. I want out. I hate it here. I wish my parents hadn't abandoned me. I wish I hadn't misbehaved at the orphanage.

Tears had started to prick at my eyes,threatening to spill out onto my face.

I hate myself! I hate my life! I want to kill myself! I want to die!

I was crying now. The tears silently rolled down my cheeks. I wanted to thrash around in the bed but that would get me called into the doctor and get more tests done. I just sat there.

I sat there and wanted to die.