Ben Hardy Imagines xo

Me and my broken heart-part 2

It had been a few days since you had spoken to Roger after the fight you had with you. Roger had decided to stay with Brian, while you stayed at the house. You had been feeling rather lonely. You were used to being on your own while Roger was on tour, but this felt different. You felt more alone than normal. Roger hadn't called. He had asked for his space and you were giving it to him, but all you wanted was for him to hold you in his arms and tell you everything was going to be OK. But it wasn't. You had screwed up.
Mary had been around a couple of times, even bringing Freddie with her. Freddie would always walk in with a smile on his face, which made you feel a little better as Freddie's smile would make anyone feel better. You would ask him about Roger, asking if he was OK and how he was doing, but Freddie wouldn't say much on the matter, feeling as though it wasn't his place, which you understood.
You had been with Roger since college. It hadn't always been an easy road. You would always go to his performances, cheering him on in the audience, glaring at girls when they tried to make eyes at Roger, but when he asked you to be his wife, it almost made up for all the hard times, but it was only going to get harder.
The first couple of years of marriage had been great. The boys had surprised you for a trip to Rarotonga for your honeymoon and it had been amazing. When you got back, everything was going to change. The boys had finally signed with a music company and making albums and touring. When Roger was away touring, he would try and call every night, even if he was drunk off his face, he would make the effort, and he would always make up for it when he came home.
You and Mary were sitting in the living room, drinking tea, when you heard the front door open and close. Your heart beating rather fast. You glanced up when you heard footsteps coming towards you and you couldn't help but feel a little disappointed when you saw it was just Brian.
"Hey Mary, Y/N. How you holding up?" Brian asked as he walked over to the couch and sat down next to you. You couldn't help but sigh as you sat back on the couch and ran your hand through your hair.
"I've screwed up Bri." you explained and you could feel tears welling up in your eyes once more. You were sick of crying. You had been crying yourself to sleep these last couple of nights and you were sick of it. You just wished Roger would come home so you could talk. "Did Roger not come with you?" you couldn't help but ask, not hiding the disappointment from your voice. Brian wrapped an arm around your shoulder and you rested your head on his shoulder.
"Did you want to come to the studio and see if he wants to talk? I know even though he's mad, he misses you." Brian said trying to make you feel better. It did make you feel a little better, but it didn't exactly help. You thought maybe a trip to the studio might just do the trick, so you agreed. After saying a quick goodbye to Mary, you grabbed your shoes and coat and followed Brian to his car. Your heart was pounding against your chest, and your palms were getting sweaty. You were nervous and didn't exactly know what to say to Roger.
                                  ******
When you entered the studio after Brian, John was rather excited to see you and embraced you in a quick hug, Freddie said hello and hugged you too, but then your eyes locked on Roger. He was sitting behind his drum kit, his eyes locked on yours. You noticed that he looked tired, like he hadn't slept since you last saw him. Part of you wanted to run up to him and pull him into a tight hug, but part of you wanted him to come to you first.
To your surprise, Roger came out from behind the drums and came up to you, asking to speak to you in the hallway. All eyes were on you, wondering what he wanted to talk to you about. You slowly nodded your head, and excusing the two of you, Roger led you out of the studio and led you into the hallway. You closed the door behind you so that the boys couldn't hear.
"You look like you haven't slept." was all you could say as Roger stopped in his tracks and turned to face you. He had a grave look on his face, and you heart started to beat harder against your chest. You weren't sure how this was going to go, but you had a feeling that it wasn't going to end well. You knew you had screwed up and you had screwed up bad.
"I haven't. I've been up most nights wondering what to do. I've also been thinking about the fight we had before all this happened." Roger explained as he ran a hand through his long blonde hair and sat down in one of the chairs that were in the hallway. "You were right. It's not fair on you, being home alone all the time with me being on tour or in the studio." Roger started to say as he let out a sigh before glancing up at you.
"What are you saying Roger, that your calling it quits? You're just going to let me go?" you couldn't help but say as you could feel the tears welling up in your eyes again, crossing your arms over your chest. He tore his eyes away from you for a moment, not wanting to see you cry. It had been a very hard decision. He didn't want to call it quits, but you needed someone who was going to be there for you, and he wasn't. He wasn't willing to give up his music career just yet.
"Yes, I am. You deserve someone better. Someone who actually wants children, someone who can look after you." Roger said as he tore his eyes away from the wall in front of him and looked up at you. He could see the tears running down your cheeks and he tried so hard not to cry himself.
"Roger please don't do this. I don't want anyone else. I want you." you said as you walked over to him as you reached out to grab his hand, but he quickly pulled away. If you touched him, held his hand, he would just let the tears fall, but he wanted to stay strong. "You're really serious about this then?" you asked as you pulled on the sleeve of your jacket and wiped the tears from your eyes. Roger slowly nodded his head. "Fine, I'll go home and pack my things. I'll stay with Mary until I can find somewhere." you said, holding your head high. Without saying another word, you turned around headed towards the elevator of the studio. You didn't want to ask Brian to take you home, so you decided to take a taxi.
It felt like your world had come crumbling down. You had lost the love of your life all because of one stupid mistake. He never said he wanted to split because of it, blaming it on himself for never being there for you, but you knew that it was because you slept with someone else. You didn't want to stay in that house any longer than you needed to, so as soon as you got home you called Mary, telling her everything that had happened. Mary told her she would come around and help you pack and that you could stay for as long as you wanted. You knew it was going to be a long journey. Part of you hoped that maybe Roger would change his mind, but part of you doubted he would.