Chapter 2

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Amongst Thanos's devastation, a small ship flies to investigate a distress signal. They are far too late. With a thump, Thor's body is plastered to the hull of the ship.

A small raccoon-like creature screams, "Wipers! Wipers! Get it off!"


Thor's eye opens and all gasp.

——


The Guardians of the Galaxy settle the still-unconscious Thor onto an examination table. A teenage Groot is in the corner on a video game.


The only human on the team (Peter Quill or Star Lord) is the first to speak, "How the hell is this dude still alive?"


"He is not a dude. You're a dude. This... This is a man. A handsome, muscular man." Drax says in awe. 

Quill is not amused, "I'm muscular."

"Who are you kidding, Quill? You're one sandwich away from fat." Rocket - the aforementioned (not) raccoon - teases.


"Yeah, right."


Drax shrugs, "It's true. You have gained a little weight..."


Gamora left Quill's side at Thor's right, and circles around the foot of the table.

Quill is annoyed, "What? Gamora, do you think I'm..."


Mantis cut him off, "He is anxious. Angry. He feels tremendous loss and guilt."

"It's like a pirate had a baby with an angel."

"Wow. This is a real wake-up call for me. Okay. I'm gonna get a Bowflex. I'm gonna commit. I'm gonna get some dumbbells."

"You know you can't eat dumbbells, right?"

Gamora speaks for the first time as she reaches Drax's side and picks up Thor's left arm, stroking his triceps, "It's like his muscles are made of Cotati metal fibers."

"Stop massaging his muscles," Quill huffs, annoyed, before turning to Mantis, "Wake him up."

Mantis places a hand on Thor's forehead, "Wake." Thor awakens, sitting up violently and throwing himself off the table to stumble a few steps away. He turns to see his hosts all pointing their weapons of choice at him. Groot is still playing his game.

"Who the heck are you guys? Where's Nico?"

"Who's Nico?" 

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