'Nevermore Than A Few Words'

Smothered by this world

I am smothered by this world.
My light has gone out a long time ago.
But I act as though my flame is still apart of me, it's good enough to fool the people around me.

I tell them that I'm okay. But I will never be okay. The chance for me to be okay left long ago. This world smothered my light, my happiness. I will never get it back.

My loved ones think they need me, and think that will keep me here. And it does, but it doesn't make me happy.
I long for the empty.
I long for the nothing.

And I will never get it.

Because they need me, and they think that will help me.

They have their arms around me, but not in an embrace, in a chokehold.

I am trapped in this world, because they will never stop needing me.

I long for the day, that I can leave this horrible place but that day won't come any time soon.

Everyone in my life thinks I'm selfish,
But I am the most selfless person I know. Because I gave up my happiness to be in this world, so they can have happiness.

Everyone in my life won't understand.

But at least I know.

And at least they will be happy.