Life Shots!

Everybody is Better, Final!

She didn't intend to do it, but MariAn found herself not replying to Pete's messages, nor answering his calls. She suddenly felt heavy in her heart these past weeks. Bitter pain and mixed feelings shot through her when she saw Pete's name on her phone. She even dared not open his messages at all anymore. She still feels excited and curious but sadness comes crashing on those initial feelings.

The heavy typhoon season came again so MariAn made sure to just wear high rubber boots when travelling through the roads even though she thinks they're not very stylish. She left her only good pair of formal shoes in the academy to wear only for class. Outside, the rains would damage them and fast.

As she was wading through the crowd of people and pushing through the coursing dirty water on the streets, she saw a familiar figure standing by the street kiosks and holding a huge umbrella. She decided she would not go to him, but he met her at the bend.

"Mari."

It was only him that called him that nickname. To everyone else, she was MariAn.

She turned to him. She's surprised to see that he looked grim. His usual energetic self is nowhere. Feeling heavy in her heart, she motioned for him to follow her towards the mall nearby.

He put his big warm jacket on her as she was shaking from the cold. She had removed her old drenched jacket earlier and let the water drip freely on the floor. She suddenly felt like the water could easily be her unshed tears.

"Thank you," she murmured.

"Coffee or chocolate?" he offered as they passed by a cafe that looked like it wasn't so crowded.

The people passing in front of the glass walls were now increasing as the rains poured outside. Pete had to hold onto her as the passersby almost bumped into her.

MariAn felt herself stiffen at the contact though she welcomed the warmth.

***

This would be their first cafe outside that girl's place. That girl became an unspeakable name to her now.

MariAn thought this cafe is so expensive as they stared up at the menu. The price reassured her though to not worry that any of her family would see them there. No one in their house frequents an expensive cafe.

She tried to calm her heart as Pete stood too close to her.

"Have you been sick?" he asked her in the gentlest voice she ever heard him use.

She didn't know how to respond. He let her sip her hot drink as her hands are still visibly shaking.

MariAn sighed.

"Sort of. I hardly get sick physically though. I'm used to taking care of everyone else in our huge family that maybe my body sort of evolved."

She was trying to make a bitter joke. She remembered all the elders' nagging whenever she had a fever as a child. They said she stayed too long out in the sun, that's why. They said she is just too sickly to do anything in the house at all. They said she's feigning sickness so as not to do house chores. They said she is just being so spoiled and feigning ill because she secretly wants to be with her mother who just left her when she was a baby.

She had always wanted to leave.

"Were you that affected when I talked about ..."

She raised her hand.

"Stop! No need to talk about them. I sort of labelled them the unspeakables now. Maybe it's sort of weird but perhaps you get the picture."

She absent-mindedly finished her cake. She thought it was dry and the cream was so little. She cannot even enjoy a food she used to like.

MariAn tried to look everywhere except at him.

"I didn't mean to make you feel sad, Mari," he said gently and carefully. "I'm sorry."

"No," was all she could respond.

She hated herself for giving in this easily.

"Now that I think about it, maybe it should be me that should apologize. I just really didn't feel like going out, for sometime. I know that if I talk to you, I'd want to see you. It scares me, sort of."

To her surprise, he smiled and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Do you hate me, Mari?"

She slowly shook her head. She's surprised he's even asking that.

"I guess not. I didn't really know how to behave, how to react, how to feel."

"You were in shock," he pointed it out for her.

"I don't know. I don't know what I feel."

"I'm glad to know you'd want to see me when you hear my voice."

He seemed proud. She is surprised that the air between them suddenly seemed lighter now. She didn't even know what happened.

She felt too tensed earlier. Maybe even for weeks now she had been tensed.

MariAn realized she just might have made a confession right there. Pete reached out to take her hands. They felt warm and gentle.

"I missed you, so much. I missed spending time with you and hearing your voice. I always wanted to see you but you've been making it difficult to meet up. I even sent you tons of messages."

"Sorry," she hurriedly replied.

She long thought she wouldn't say sorry at all when they'd ever meet again, but this situation is making her say a lot of things she didn't even plan.

"Didn't actually read a lot of those ... I was having some sort of ... a cleansing break."

"Cleanse?" He laughed. "That sounds like from a disease."

"It's for stress, okay?"

She found herself laughing too. Pete touched her cheek and she found herself ready to cry.

"Thank you, Mari, for allowing me to talk to you and hold you like this again."

His eyes looked sincere and very soft. MariAn felt her heart beating wildly.

"I like you." MariAn heard herself say.

She covered her mouth in surprise and laughed.

"Everything's wrong with me today," she muttered nervously.

I must be crazy. 

Pete pulled her hand and kissed it. "Stay with me, Mari." 

***

Thank you so much for reading! :)