marvel shorts

3am nightmares | bucky x natasha

     It was a quiet Wednesday night, and most everyone in the compound was asleep. All except for Bucky of course. Bucky got frequent nightmares due to his time as the Winter Soldier (not to mention being an experiment and slave to Hydra). So Bucky lay in his bed in the plain room that was bare of any personal objects. There was a bed, a nightstand, and a dresser. That was all.
     When Bucky has these nightmares, he'd usually keep to himself. He didn't want anyone knowing how haunted he still was. However, Steve did know because Bucky occasionally would talk to him about it. The only other person that knew was the person rooming next to him which happened to be Natasha. She didn't ever say anything to him because his muffled crying suggested that he wanted to keep it a secret, but Nat sympathized.
     Deciding that he was hungry, Bucky rose from his bed and paused his late night cry to get some food. When he entered the kitchen, he saw a silhouette of a person in the dark and spacious room. He assumed it was Steve and continued in to grab his Poptarts and go. When the person turned around however, it wasn't Steve, it was Nat. Her face was light up by the brightness of her phone. She gave him a quick smile and sipped from her mug.
     "What are you doing up?" Bucky asked. He didn't really care, but the awkward silence was horrifying.
     "I was just grabbing some tea, I can't sleep. What about you?" She responded nonchalantly, acting oblivious to his insomnia.
     "Hungry." He put simply. He stepped towards her and to the right to get into the pantry that held the Hot Fudge Sundae Poptarts.
     "Well, how have you been doing?" Natasha treaded carefully, trying to avoid asking about his nightmares straight out. The curiosity had become to much to keep contained.
     Bucky turned around and leaned against the counter.
     "I've been good."
     Nat smiled. "You don't have to lie Bucky. But you don't have to talk about it. I know it's hard. If it helps, I'll always be next door."
     She walked out of the kitchen leaving an emotional Bucky to his 'Tarts.
     When Buck returned to his bedroom, he felt an overwhelming urge to spill his feelings. Normally, Steve would've been his first choice but Steve was staying in Wakanda for a few days to meet with T'Challa. So he hesitantly walked his way to Natasha's bedroom and knocked softly on the door. It opened a few seconds later and Nat ushered him into her room.
     He'd never been in her room, but that didn't really matter, they looked almost exactly the same. She sat down on her bed and sipped her tea. Bucky took a seat on the other side and intertwined his hands together nervously.
     "What happened?" She spoke softly and gently, not wanting to startle him.
     "It was the same as it's always been. I was killing people. The Winter Soldier came back. I couldn't help it." He said. He was trying his hardest to keep the tears back but it wasn't easy for him and he ended up letting some through.
     Nat felt a pang in her heart. He'd had a hard time coping with what the Winter Soldier had done.
"It wasn't you. Bucky, you're safe. He won't come back. You're safe." She said while leaning towards him and grabbing his hand.
     "But it hurts. It hurts so much. Hundreds of people lost lives, thousands lost friends and family. I've destroyed them. I'm a monster." He gripped her hand tight while sobbing into his other hand.
     "Yeah, maybe you are." She said. Bucky looked up and furrowed his eyebrows.
     "But if you are, then so is Steve. So is Tony, Sam, T'Challa, Me, and everyone else in this compound. And they're all sleeping soundly. You can't let the past control you. You can't let Hydra haunt you. Because if you do that, they win. The team needs you, fully functional. We all need you, Buck."
     He opened his mouth to argue but she stopped him by placing her lips on his. He was surprised at first but then he relaxed. It had been quite a while before Bucky had let himself be in these situations. When I say a while, I mean a LONG time. So he relished in the idea that he could be free to do this now.
     Eventually, Nat pulled away and smiled to herself.
     "You aren't a monster. Monsters don't have hearts."