Now
Thursday 10th January 2019
The warm breath of him on my neck makes me shiver. He puts an arm around my waist and kisses me on my cheek. I dig my face into his chest and he hugs me tightly. We stay like that for a while, and I feel safe in the security of his arms.
"Esther? Are you listening to me?" A voice says, which disrupts my dream. I hear a chair be scraped back across the floor and footsteps loudly in my ears as if I was in a 4D movie. The woman grips me hard by the arm and shakes me. Once she stops shaking me, I groan.
"Esther. You need to listen to me. If you want to heal and get better, you need to listen." She lectures. I shake my head and start laughing.
"Y'all be calling me crazy. You're the crazy ones." I slur. She sighs and sits back down opposite me.
"What were you dreaming about now?" She asks. I tilt my head back, laughing.
I honestly sometimes hate these talks with my psychologist, Dr Lauren Perry. She says she wants to help me. She makes me sound like I'm some insane psycho or something.
I'm really not.
"Was it with him again?" I jerk up and furrow my eyebrows at her. After a moment I smile, then nod my head.
"Yes, it was. It's not like I love him though. He's the one who's madly in love with me. I think he has powers, supernatural powers. I think he's a vampire. He's not who he says he is. Don't believe anything he says. He's deranged. Obsessed with me. Don't-" I start saying, turning into shouts.
"Stop it, Esther." She orders me. I sink back into the cold, metal chair and sigh.
Why won't they listen to me? He is deranged, he's crazy, he's demented. He is so obsessed with me. He comes to visit me every so often in the week, even though I don't love him and he knows that, he acts like I do. I know he's not normal.
He's a vampire. He sends me dreams of him and I. They are his fantasies, that I, unfortunately, have to witness everyday.
I'm not crazy, I just happen to laugh a bit too much, do things that other people wouldn't do because of the restraints of society. I just happen to see things they don't see, like I see the ghostly people walking through the hallways talking together.
I tell the psychiatrists this, but they just shrug me off like I'm talking gibberish. They don't even listen to me.
"These dreams, Esther." She continues. I hate when she keeps saying Esther. She knows I don't like it. But she does it to annoy me, take control of me and make me listen to her. "These dreams. Do you enjoy them? Or do they feel like you're trapped in a nightmare?" I sink lower into the chair and shake my head.
"Is it like lucid dreaming? Can you feel and control everything that's happening?" I nod my head. She gestures for me to explain.
"I can feel everything in the dream. From his skin to his breath on my neck. I can smell, touch, feel, see, hear and even taste. But I can't control anything. He controls the dream. I'm just the person kind of watching the dream. Well not watching because I'm in my body, but it's like you are frozen and can't do anything and he is controlling you. He doesn't take my arm and move or anything like that, no. He uses his mind. He is dreaming, and when he's dreaming, he projects his dreams into my head and sucks me into it. I have no choice. I just sit there and be controlled."
The room is silent. She stares at me with her small, grey, lifeless eyes.
Silence.
There is a loud scraping sound, squeaking across the floor. Light floods in and I close my eyes. Heavy footsteps come towards me, then my arms are yanked into chains.
The look on Lauren's face makes me just want to slap her. She gives me a small smile, then goes back to her paperwork.
They heave me up and drag my thin, frail, limp body into my room. Throwing me in, my head hits the wall and I feel blood rush to the spot.
The door shuts.
I groan in pain. I slowly open my eyes, and stare around the bare room.
The walls are painted white, the chair to the corner of the wall is white, my bed frame is white, the duvet is white, the pillow is white and I'm growing increasingly pale since my confinement in this place.
They say white is 'pure'. Yes, yes it is pure, but it's making me go crazy.
They said they want me to feel at home.
For me to heal.
Well, I'm not going to heal if I'm stuck in a white room, for goodness sake. Don't these psychiatrists know anything? I might almost have the right to say I'm more intelligent than them.
A sudden shot of pain goes through my head and I scream.
But this room is soundproof, they never hear me scream.
Even when at night I scream out for help in my nightmares, sent by him. But no one hears me. My screams fall to deaf ears.
I start to cry, and roll myself into a ball.
Slowly, I feel the world around me disintegrate and reality walks away from me and I suddenly feel hollow.
Everything darkens around me and I fall into a deep abyss of nothing.
YOU ARE READING
Only Her
Vampire"What have you done to me?" She screams at him. He laughs, the sound echoing around the room. "Don't worry, Esther. I've only made you better. You'll soon reach the maximum of human potential. You'll be invincible."
