To Be A Hero

Chapter 13: She Will Be Loved

"It wasn't your fault," He says, giving me an annoyed look.

"I-I know, but... it was still my actions that caused them to die. I... it's hard to come to terms with that. But at least I'm not having nightmares about it anymore, or about Simon. I mean, I still have nightmares, just not about that."

He gives a half shrug. "Well, everyone has nightmares."

"Even you?"

"Sometimes. If you're in here with me though, I usually don't. Last night was great. No nightmares at all. Maybe it was because we were, uh..." He sits up on his elbows, letting out a quiet, nervous laugh. "Although that might have been because I was exhausted."

"Huh." I try to hide my concern, but fail. The thought of Sam having nightmares doesn't settle well with me. He's too nice to have nightmares, and he's got enough stress in the waking world. "Are these nightmares... really bad?"

"Sometimes. I mean, they're mostly about the baby or the memory of my mum and dad getting... bitten, but sometimes they're about... they're-they're about you."

I blink. "Me?"

"Yeah. About Moonchild somehow taking ahold of you again. I-I know that can't happen. She's dead and-and you're immune to mind control now... but I dream that somehow she takes control again, but you-it's not the same.

"You're actually you. You know what you're doing, but you can't stop yourself from doing it." He covers his eyes with one hand, as if he doesn't want to see my reaction. "And no matter how hard I want to help you, or at least stop you, I can't. Then I hear you begging me to stop you, to kill you if necessary... Someone else does it. I can never bring myself to do it, not even in my own dreams."

"Oh..." I say softly.

"Why do you think I freaked when you lost control like that? I thought it was something close to my worst nightmare coming true."

It was.

I don't tell him that. I can't. I think he might actually start to cry if I do. He looks close to crying now. Even with his hand coving most of his face, I can tell. So I pull him into my arms, holding him close. He squeaks in surprise, mostly because he couldn't see my actions with his hand over his eyes.

So many times he's had to comfort me because of my problems, but now it's my turn to comfort him. I know fully well just how bad nightmares can be, and I don't want him to have to face that alone. Not now. Not ever.

"I'm sorry you have to deal with that," I mumble into his shoulder.

He hugs me back, pulling me as close to him as possible as we lay on the cot. He stays silent for a short moment. "It's nightmares. Everyone has them."

"Doesn't mean I'm going to be happy you have them." I pull back for a moment, giving him a raised brow. "You said these nightmares happen a lot?"

He rubs the back of his neck, not making eye contact. "Well, depends where I am, mostly. If I'm in the dorms, I usually get them every night, but if I'm in the coms shack with you, I only get them sometimes. Last night I didn't have any, but I don't think that it was because you and me were... sleeping together in-in the cot. It was probably because I was too exhausted to dream."

I chew on my lip and debating the options. My face grows hot as I force the words out of my mouth. "Well, we could test it, just to see."

"Test to see what?" He asks.

"If us sleeping side by side on the cot helps with the nightmares. We could test it."

I think it takes a moment for his brain to process what I've just said. "Are you-are you serious?"