Three Thousand Times (Endgame Spoilers)

Chapter 1

This was it. The life he wanted. The life he craved. It had been only a few months since Tony had saw Peter turn to dust, only months since he was on that ship and dying, months since he reunited with Steve and most of all Pepper. Only mere months. But here he stood, in front of a cabin on the lake, next to his gorgeous fiancee, trying to move on. He had blamed himself. He could have saved Peter and the Guardians. He could have done something. He tried, he really tried. He closed his eyes and tried to stop the tears threatening to fall. Peter. The poor kid. It should have been him. It should have been Tony who turned to dust. Not Peter Parker.

"You okay?" Pepper's voice snapped Tony out of his trance. He looked at her face, which read concern. "I know it's hard, Tony. They should all be here, but I'm not so sure there's much more any of us can do. The stones were destroyed."

"I know," Tony's voice sounded rasped and sad. His throat felt dry as the pain weighed down on his heart. It would never truly stop hurting. Peter was like a son to him. Telling May what happened to Peter was one of the hardest things Tony had ever done. "I just wish the kid was still here. I love him, you know, Pep. Like a son."

Pepper's hand rested on Tony's shoulder as they continued to stare at the cabin that would soon become their home. As much as it hurt, it was time to move on. And maybe also, forgive, but never forget. Tony could never forget. He was an Avenger, and he was never going to rest until he could avenge the fallen.

After what felt like eternity, Tony and Pepper finally walked inside their new home. This was where they would spend the rest of their lives together. Growing old together. Where they'd die together.

"It's different from Malibu," Tony whispered. "There's no JARVIS and FRIDAY isn't programmed in. It's an adjustment, but I think you'll like it."

Pepper smiled as she walked through the home, happy that Tony was doing the best he could to move on. "I love it. I love you. This is perfect."

The small smile on Tony's face made Pepper's heart soar. He was hurting still, after being lost in space, losing Peter, losing this fight, he could still smile. Pepper just wanted to see that smile. Even just once a day. As long as she knew he could still be happy, that's all that truly mattered.

"I thought it would be a nice place to raise a family," Tony gleamed. It was the first real smile she had seen since everything had happened. Since the snap. "There's lots of lake and woods our little ones could play. I think it'll be good."

"A family? You miss him, don't you?" Pepper asked, referring to the young Peter Parker that was taken too soon from this world.

"I do," Tony's face fell.

Pepper wrapped her arms around him, offering him a hug. "Honey, it'll be okay. I'm sure whatever is happening, wherever he is, I'm sure he's not in pain."

"But I am," Tony's voice cracked as tears began to well up in his eyes. He looked into Pepper's eyes, showing her the fear and pain that was inside the broken hallow of a man before her. She hated seeing him like this. But, as much as she wanted to break down herself, she had to stay strong. For his sake. She always had to stay strong for him. Tony wasn't necessarily a happy man. Not even before the snap and especially not now after.

"Tony, you will be okay. I can promise you that much. I don't know when and I don't know how but, you'll be okay," Pepper tried to soothe as she ran her fingers through his hair. She wanted nothing more than to be okay. Tony was always in a constant battle with himself. Would anything ever be normal again? Before Tony went through what he did in Afghanistan, he would sleep around, party, drink and never take his life too seriously. Now. Well, now he was Iron Man and it seemed Tony had completely changed since becoming him. He fell in love with Pepper along the way as well. The last person ever to expect Tony to finally settle down was her herself but, things change. For the better. Doesn't mean life is perfect. She was lucky. Tony had stayed with her, for the last ten years, he was sweet and caring and gentle when it came to Pepper. Protecting her was all he knew. And soon, Pepper remembered placing her free hand over her abdomen, soon he would be protecting more than just her.

In that very moment, just as Tony were saying the words, "Maybe but also maybe not. I don't know if I'll ever be hap-" he had saw her hand. Tears began to well up in his eyes once again. But this time, this time they were happy tears. His heart fluttered with joy. Was this it? Was he finally going to be a father? "Pepper, are you-" Tony cut himself off, anticipating her answer.

"Pregnant? Yes! After that dream you told me you had, after you had gone into space," Pepper's voice started to crack but she quickly recovered it. Tony was safe and she was giving him good news, nothing sad. Nothing she was about to say would hurt him. "I couldn't stop thinking about the 'what ifs', so I took a test. Before I knew it, the future changed right before my eyes and, I'm about three months along now. I wanted to tell you. Right when you got off that ship, but, Tony, you were in so much pain. I- I wanted to wait. Now felt, right. I just miss your smile and now, now I see I have it back."

Tony was feeling things he'd never experience before. He knew it was joy. Love for his unborn child was also there and of course, he felt thankful that Pepper hadn't been a victim of the snap. If she had gone, what would that have meant for their baby? It didn't matter. It was happening. It was really happening. Tony Stark was going to be a father. Fear, it became adamant of course. Tony wanted to be better than his own father, Howard Stark. That man wasn't exactly the perfect role model. He never did stop talking about Steve Rogers, a man Tony couldn't believe he was able to eventually meet and become friends with, well, their friendship wasn't exactly back yet. But that didn't matter. What mattered was Tony would be better. He would do better. He was Iron Man, was there really anything he couldn't do? You couldn't save the kid. You lost the kid, Tony's thoughts reminded him once again of the pain he had gone through. His head was right, though. He couldn't save the kid. He held him in his arms as he watched the sweet fifteen-year-old boy turn to dust. Dust. The kid was gone, there was nothing more of him left, nothing but a few grains of sand. Tony felt tears once more, but he willed himself not to cry.

Pepper told him.

It was finally happening.

That dream he had was becoming a reality.

He was going to be a father.

This was no time to grieve. It was time to move on and maybe even forgive himself. Something he wasn't so sure he would be able to do. Tony looked back up at Pepper, realizing she was still awaiting his thoughts. His reaction. What earlier felt like a million minutes worth of thoughts was actually only mere seconds. She waited. He didn't know what to say. What do you say? "Pep?" Tony mumbled, looking up at her. "This- this isn't one of your jokes is it?"

"Hey! I'm not the one that keeps making witty one-liners!" Pepper argued before smiling softly. "Yes, Tones. It's really happening. This is really happening. You're going to be a father."

"This is the best news ever, Pep! Thank you, thank you so much! Honestly, I didn't think I could ever be happy again. I love you, so much."

"I love you," Pepper smiled as she leaned over to kiss his forehead. She finally got to see a real genuine smile from him since after the snap. Maybe, just maybe, moving on won't be so hard after all.

A/N: I am so excited to fill in these five years of life that we missed from Tony. I hope yall have seen the movie before reading this as this does contain spoilers. And if you didn't know, well I did put a spoiler warning in the blurb, title and right before this chapter. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy this cute little story about the Starks! :) ~Kelsea