XO, Joanne

Just A Dream

*Nicole POV*

I couldn't stop shaking.

I took the Lady Gaga concert tickets out of the card and stared at them in disbelief.

"NO-"
I looked closer and realized that I had front row.
"I-I can't even believe this."
I sat on the floor, still sobbing, trying to process what I just saw.

I'm seeing Lady Gaga.
Fuck.

I calmed down slightly and moved up to my bed.

But wait. I got two tickets.
"Who the hell am I gonna bring with me?" I thought. My aunt wasn't about to go, that's for sure.
Then I remembered.

Chloe.

She's a little monster too. That's how we became friends. We found each other on Instagram and realized that we only lived ten minutes away from each other. We met in person for the first time two years ago, and we've been best friends ever since.

I let out a devious smile.
"She's gonna flip."

I leaned over and grabbed my phone.

"Call me. NOW!!!!"

Chloe 👯‍♀️💞
"What's going on?? Are
you ok??"

"JUST CALL ME!!!!"

My phone rang.

*Chloe POV*

"Nic! What's up are you ok?!"
I was scared something had happened to her.
"I'm fine." she said.  "But I have some news. Are you sitting down?"
I walked to my room, shut the door, and sat on my bed.
"I am now. Please tell me what's going on. You're scaring me."
I could hear Nicole breathing heavily through the phone. I knew something was going on.
"Are you busy next Tuesday?" she asked me.

Why would she be asking me that?

"Um.. no. Why?"
Then I realized why she wanted me to sit down when I called her.
"Because you're coming to the Gaga concert with me!"
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!?!"
I couldn't even contain myself. I tried to buy tickets when they first went on sale, but they sold out too fast.
"I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE THIS OH MY GOD!!!"

*Nicole POV*

Chloe was screaming so loud that I had to move the phone away from my ear. At least she was excited though.

"THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TAKING ME NIC!!! YOU'RE THE BEST FRIEND ANYONE COULD EVER ASK FOR!!!"

We freaked out a bit longer before hanging up. By then it was almost midnight, but I was wide awake. I sat in silence for awhile, thinking about what was going to happen a week from now.
I couldn't sleep, so I went to my desk and grabbed a notebook and a pen.
"Maybe she'll read my note if I throw it on stage." I thought.
I opened up to a blank page and poured my heart out. I wrote about my broken family, my mother's death, the strength I gained by listening to her music, and essentially, how she saved me.
Obviously I left some things out, like the cutting and the problems I had with my aunt. She didn't need to know about that, let alone read it out loud to twenty thousand people.
I read the letter quietly to myself once I finished:

"Dear Gaga,
If you're reading this letter right now, my name is Nicole. I just turned fifteen, and I've been a monster since I was 8. I know most people start off these letters by thanking you, and as much as I want to be unique, I truly have so much that I need to thank you for. My father left my mother and I the day I was born and she was left to raise me alone. It was tough, but you were the one who kept us both going. We bonded through your music and listened to it every chance we got. However, my whole world turned upside down this past Christmas when my mom was killed by a drunk driver. I miss her more and more every day, but you have kept me strong. If it wasn't for your incredible personality and lyrics, I probably wouldn't be standing here right now. My mom bought me tickets to this show for my birthday and she had planned to go with me. Unfortunately she passed before she could give me them so my best friend is here with me tonight. We met online through your music and now we are practically inseparable. I'm so happy that you were able to create this strong friendship. Now, I want to make this as short as possible, so thank you for bringing me to my best friend, and for being there for me when nobody else was. Most importantly though, thank you for choosing to write music. You've saved my life, and I'll always stand by you no matter what. I love you to the moon and back. Love, Nicole"

Tears filled my eyes as I read it.
"Why did I even write this?" I wondered.
"She's never gonna get it. I'm just wasting my fucking time."
All these negative emotions started coming to me at once, flooding my brain until I just couldn't take it anymore.
I ran to my bathroom and grabbed my razor, slicing my opposite wrist until I felt numb. I let out a deep breath.

Much better.

I cleaned myself up and went back to my room, falling face first into my bed. I was exhausted, both physically and mentally.
I hit my pillow and fell asleep almost immediately.

Before I knew it, the big day was here.
I woke up bright and early and picked out an outfit for the show. 
"Why are you so bubbly today?" My aunt asked as I made my way downstairs.
"ITS GAGA DAY!!!" I yelled.
She rolled her eyes. She wasn't very thrilled with me going, but she couldn't let those tickets go to waste. Had money been out of the question, she would've torn them right up when she got the chance.

Chloe was coming to pick me up at 3. She already had her license and a car, since she was almost two years older than me, so we were able to go by ourselves.
I changed into my cropped Lady Gaga t-shirt and a pair of black ripped jeans. I put on a little makeup and sprayed some of Gaga's Fame perfume on my neck. Just as I was about to walk out the door, I looked in the mirror and noticed my arms.

Shit. Forgot about those.

I quickly grabbed a black leather jacket and threw it over me.
I told my aunt I was leaving and got no response as usual, but I didn't care. Tonight was about to be the best night ever.

Chloe and I got to the arena around 6 after stopping to get something to eat. We were beyond excited.
One of the security guards helped us find our seats, and our jaws dropped to the floor once we saw the stage. It was right there in front of us. I reached my hand out and touched it.
"Lady Gaga is gonna be walking on this stage five feet away from me."
I stood there in disbelief as other people made their way to their seats.
The room suddenly became dark, and the one minute countdown showed up on the screen

Fuck. It's happening.

A blonde angel rose up from under the stage, and I completely lost it.
I didn't stop crying throughout most of the show. For once, I actually felt safe and didn't give a shit about what the people around me were thinking.
I danced and sang my heart out to every song without a care in the world.
The show came and went in the blink of an eye. Once she finished singing Bad Romance, my stomach dropped. The Cure was next, and that meant she was going to read the fan letter.
I folded my letter and threw it onto the stage. I couldn't tell where it landed since so many other people around me were whipping theirs up there too.
It was out of my hands now, and all I could do was hope for the best.

I watched Gaga look around at all the letters that fans had thrown at her.

"Thank you for all these letters." she said as she picked one up.

Here we go. The moment of truth.
She opened the paper and began reading.

"Dear Gaga..."