~South Park Style Oneshots~

Spill That Spring Break Tea (1)

"Holy shit, dude," he said with a smile forming on his face, with the toothbrush still hanging out of his mouth, "'Morning." Stan let a smile play on his face as well, and sat up. "I want pancakes," Stan said while Kyle made his way to the bathroom to spit toothpaste into the sink. "Yeah, sure," he yelled from down the hall.

Stan was about to stand, when he heard a 'ding' from Kyle's phone. Curiously, he peered at the screen to see who the text was from. Stan's eyes slowly got wider, and he felt his chest tighten. The text came from someone named Marc, and the contact had two heart emojis following the name. Stan pulled his eyes down to read the text.

Hey bby, how u doing at home?

Once Kyle finished his time in the bathroom, he turned to leave, only to see Stan standing in the doorway with his phone.

"Who's Marc?"

Kyle's brain stopped working for a second. The question didn't fully sink in. "What?" He said, blinking rapidly as if it could make things sound clearer. "I said, who's Marc," Stan repeated, a little more sternly. Kyle became nervous, he felt like he was getting caught for cheating on a test. "Uh..." is all he managed to get out, before Stan answered for him. "Is he your boyfriend?" He said, his voice still strong but carrying a sense of hopelessness.

Kyle didn't know what to say, so he resorted to anger. "Give me my phone back, Stan," he decided to say, his expression angry as he tried to grab for his phone. Stan just stepped away and held it out of Kyle's reach.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Stan's voice wavered a bit. They tell each other everything, why would this case be any different? Especially as something as important as this. Kyle blushed and turned his head away from Stan. He sighed. "We've only been dating for like, three weeks..." he mumbled.

Stan looked at Kyle in disbelief. "Three weeks? And you didn't tell me? What else are you not telling me, are you guys fucking, too?" Kyle's face got redder, "Oh my god, no Stan!" He sighed. They stood in the hall for a bit, until Kyle continued. "Look, I'm sorry, okay? I should've told you, and I just... I don't know..." His face became a deeper shade of red.

Stan wordlessly returned the phone he was holding back to its owner, and ruffled Kyle's hair with a sad look in his eyes. "It's okay dude," Stan spoke,  "I'm gonna go, I'll see ya later." He quickly grabbed his own phone from Kyle's bedroom and made his way down the stairs, not even bothering to collect his clothes from the previous day. Kyle was about to protest, not wanting Stan to leave because of this, and that they still had pancakes to get to, but he just let him go as Stan slipped out the front door.

Once Stan was outside, he felt like he was going to explode. He grabbed his hair and fell to his knees, not even caring that the snow would get his pants all wet. He probably looked like he was being dramatic, but so many things were going through his brain. He was sad, and angry, and overall he felt hopeless. What was so great about this Marc guy anyway? Stan was confident he could beat his ass. Also, why didn't Kyle say anything about him? Stan would beat his ass, too, but he loves him too much to do so... or maybe he loves him so much that he would. Now he was just getting confused.

After sitting in the snow for a while, Stan sighed. He began to walk to Kenny's. He needed to tell someone about this, he can't handle all this shit.

Arriving at the McCormick property, Stan knocked on Kenny's window, and he was quickly let into his bedroom. "Hey man, what's up?" Kenny started, drawing his curtains closed. Once he said that, Stan erupted all his thoughts into words like a volcano.

"Okay so basically I recently found out I'm in love with Kyle but just now I found out he has a boyfriend who he's been dating for a month and he's never told me about him and I—" He was cut off by Kenny.