Finding Carter MTV

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Carter’s POV

I woke up the next morning with nothing but coffee on my mind. I don’t even remember how I got downstairs but suddenly I have a huge cup in my hand and it’s like all the spider webs in my head are disappearing. I can finally think clearly.

“Good morning, honey.” I don’t respond to dad because even though I had missed him, what he did is still a fresh wound in my mind.

Taylor and Grant follow suit and soon the whole kitchen is filled and there’s a bowl of cereal being shoved in my direction, orange juice flying across the counter and peanut butter being spread on 6 pieces of bread.

This is why I didn’t choose Lori. In this moment, family is the only thing that’s familiar and I never want that to change.

“You okay, Carter? Still shaken up?” Mom asks and puts a hand in the small of my back.

“Yeah, I’m just so grateful to have you guys.”

Everyone pauses and trades glances.

“Group hug!!!” Grant yells and everyone scurries to the closest body and I can physically feel the love from each person.

“We’re going to be late! Carter, why are you still in your pajamas?” Taylor bites in to a huge piece of toast and goes off to find her jacket.

Usually after I get ready for school, there’s a text from Crash waiting for me to read. There isn’t one today and I find myself sitting in the corner of my bed, staring at my phone.

Why did it have to get this bad? I make a mental note to visit Crash after school and shove my phone in my backpack.

The day passes by slowly yet surely and I’m sick of answering “I’m fine” to everyone who’s got the Amber Alert on their phones and heard about the accident.

Why can’t things get back to normal?

I ask Taylor for the keys to the car and punch on the prison’s address in my phone.

The lady at the desk recognizes me and gives me a warm smile.

“You feeling better?”

“I am, thank you so much for what you did the other night. It really meant a lot.” I hand over the cupcake that I bought on the way and she smiles ear to ear.

“Crash will be right out.”

I sit down waiting in the room but something feels different. Maybe it’s because we have time to talk. Maybe it’s because this time, I actually have to listen.

“Carter, I told you last night…” He sits down across from me but I give him a small hug anyway and take a seat.

“I know but I think you’re wrong. You didn’t do anything wrong. You shouldn’t have left me all alone with Max-doesn’t matter. I understand why you did what you did.”

“No, you don’t. Carter, this place is like a blessing in disguise.” He smiles to the floor and takes a deep breath. “You deserve so much more. And you never would have gotten what you deserve if I was still in your life. This is good, for the both of us.”

He starts to get up and I can feel the rage boiling inside me.

“How can you even say that?! Crash I know you’re a good person. You just haven’t been given the chance to prove it!” I grab his hands and make sure he doesn’t leave.

“That’s just it, Carter. I have. I’ve been given lots of chances and opportunities. Even your mom gave me the chance but I still failed. I break everything I touch and I refuse to break you even further, Carter. You’re more fragile than you think.”

He looks me dead in the eye and I swear he can read into every syllable in my heart.

“When this is over, I’ll find you. I promise I will. God knows you’re the only thing getting me through this nightmare. But for right now, I can’t keep doing this to you. You have to let me go, Carter.”

I’m hearing his words but none of them are registering. I want to object but all I can do is cry flimsy tears and he slips through my fingers.

Alice, the lady at the desk smiles her usual warm smile but I’m too busy with trying to leave the premises.

It’s weird because I’m not mad. I’m a little sad but all in all, I don’t feel completely broken. Like I had this coming.

I start to drive home but decide to visit Max first.

I can’t believe he’s still even speaking to me.

“Hey, you.” I knock on the door and enter.

 “Heeeey, where have you been?” He doesn’t know about Lori.

“Uhm, Lori kind of kidnapped me again.” I smile through my teeth and his eyes bulge out of his skull. 

“What the heck do you mean she kidnapped you?!” He starts sitting up but I can tell he’s in pain. 

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m fine. Seriously! Elizabeth was trying to catch Lori and I was camped out and Lori drugged me. She let me go though when I told her I didn’t want to run away with her.” He was in complete shock.

 “Carter… I told you she was trouble.” He takes my hand and the next thing he blurts out causes my eyes to go outside my own skull.

“I broke up with Taylor.”

“What! Why?!” I ask with impatience.

 “She was just spending every waking hour here and not going to school. Like she dropped her whole life just so she can come here and read me bedtime stories. I just didn’t want her to sacrifice so much. Plus, I have to get back to my parents’.” He smiles shyly but I know it hurts him more than he’s letting on.

 “I think that was a stupid move, Max. Taylor loves you more than anything. And I know you love her. She would have waited until you got better. If you would’ve just talked to her and…” He cuts me off.

 “It just wasn’t working, Carter. I didn’t want her to see me like this.”

“Okay.” There’s nothing else I can say. This is all my fault. If it wasn’t for Crash, Max wouldn’t be here and him and Taylor would be happy right now. 

“Max, I’m so sorry.” I try to convince him that I truly am sorry for everything and hope that he believes me. 

“Hey, none of this is your doing Carter. Crash is just bad news. This has nothing to do with you. You just wanted to talk to your mom.” He smiles but I know he doesn’t mean it. He couldn’t after the things I did. 

“Look, this is all going to get better. I’m going to get out of here and we’re going to be back to breaking into carnivals in no time. Okay?”

I hug my best friend hope that he’s right because I’m truly exhausted, from screwing everything up to trying to fix them.

I leave the hospital and head home to talk to Taylor. She must be devastated.

~~~please let me know what you think!