How to Royally Piss Off Your Professor

Pissing off your professor is not typically something you want to try, but for those who are brave of heart, this is an entertaining and interesting past time. In this essay you will learn the art of pissing off your least favorite professor: everything from disrupting class to being as lazy as possible.

Do not read the syllabus. Not reading the syllabus will make you fall behind. You will not know important information related to the class. For example, if you have to spend seven and a half hours at your school's writing lab before midterms or you'll fail the class. In addition, this will make you ask a lot of questions in class, annoying your professor because it's all in the syllabus.

After not reading the syllabus, send them an email saying you do not understand the class material and you would like help, taking up even more of their time. Set up a meeting with your professor within their business hours. When it is about five minutes before your meeting, email them saying you are running late. Email them again at the time of your meeting saying you'll be right there, but never show up.

In addition to showing up to meetings late, show up to class five to ten minutes late as well. Make your way to the back of the classroom, all the while being as clumsy, loud, and disruptive as possible. As you sit in your seat, lean over your desk and giggle to your friend who you're sitting next to. Make sure you are loud enough for your professor to hear in the front.

In addition to disrupting other students, ask questions that have nothing to do with the subject at all during class. For example, "Why are penguins blue?" Intersperse these questions in between regular questions, always having your hand raised. This way your professor will not have any reason not to call on you during class. Also ask if you can use the restroom and make a bigger deal out of it than it needs to be.

Your mischief can also expand outside of the classroom and to your homework. Make all your essays, or any work you have, barely long enough to meet the word requirement. If your professor asks you to write a 300-500 word essay, write 301 words, barely meeting that 300 word minimum or 501 words, just barely exceeding the limit. If your professor asks you to read chapters three and four, but would like you to read ahead, do the bare minimum, or even slightly below.

By implementing all of these techniques, you will have a royally pissed off professor. Remember to exercise with caution however, your professor can make your life a living hell, so hopefully your grades will not suffer.