Can We Fall, One More Time?

Prologue

Why are most of us closer to the broken? Why do we always feel the urge to protect them? Why do we put ourselves into position of trying to heal them when we're not that stable on our own?

But is it really most of us? Or is it just me? Ako lang ba ang ganito?

I wasn't even sure if I am in love when I told myself I am ready to help him get over it while shedding the tears on his eyes that are like hot water burning my heart. I am not even sure if I am in love when I decide to do whatever it is to see his eyes genuinely happy again... Because for some reason, it makes me happy too.

While writing my lecture, tumapon ang mata ko sa lalake sa labas. Matangkad, maputi, makisig ang pangangatawan, makapal na kilay, matangos na ilong, he is indeed a beautiful man ngunit maputla ang dating pula niyang labi. Ang maliit na mata pero hindi naman singkit ay mas lalong lumiit dahil mas kapansin pansin ang eyebags niya. His hair is messy, he looks lifeless.

Lucas entered the room without looking at what is in front of us. Diretso lang ang tingin niya sa dereksyon na pupuntahan niya. He doesn't look well, I doubt that he is still sleeping. His eyes were so fixed on his chair that I didn't expect him to meet my eyes, but when he did, I saw how dead he is on the inside.

I was just about to tell him that the teacher is here with us, but I am too late to even speak.

"You're too early for your second subject Mr. Evangelista," doon lang naputol ang tingin niya sa akin.

"Sorry Ma'am," maikling sagot nito.

I saw how the teacher's facial expression changed when she got a sight of how Lucas look right now. Sa sobrang lugmok ni Lucas ay hindi mo na magagawa na magalit kahit murahin ka pa niya ngayon.

He looks like a walking corpse.

"I'm gonna let it pass for now but gather yourself."

I can't help but to think about how much he loves her. Hindi nagpapakita ng kahinaan ang lalaki pero siya, he look so weak. He don't care about how bad he looks like right now. He's empty, unmotivated and very much broken.

Everyone knows that he broke up with his girlfriend at hindi siya nahiya na ipakita kung gaano siya ka wasak sa nangyari. He was doing fine on the first week of their break up, he was smiling when he said they did break up, but now, ni hindi mo siya makikitang ngumiti.

Maybe the realization of what he lost and what he will keep on losing is now sinking in.

Cause you don't lose it all instantly when a relationship ends, you lose it slowly because it's not just about the love, it's not just all about the person, it could also be about the places and even on the simplest thing that you had with them. You lose it slowly because a person somehow leave a piece of their spirit on something they once touch, something they love, and in the end you cannot help but to associate it to them. Once someone become part of your habit and they're gone, it's not just them that is gone, its everything.

I don't know what came into my mind, but I stayed. Lumabas na ang lahat habang siya ay nandito pa rin, natutulog.

"Lucas, dismissal na," I said, but I failed to wake him up with just that, I needed to shake his shoulder in order for him to wake up.

Tears fell from his eyes when he look at me. Naramdaman ko ang pag kirot ng dibdib ko. I've been in denial about what I feel because I am not sure. To feel something for someone new feels strange especially when I haven't felt anything for a long time. Ang mahirap pa, nung dati na naramdaman ko ang puso ko, masyado pa akong bata noon.

But now I am hurting with this sight of him so how do I name this?

"I lost a cheater but why am I miserable?"

Ni hindi na ako nag isip. I hug him, hoping that he can share his pain with me. Di hamak na mas malaki siya sa akin but now, he seems so small. I just wanna protect him at all cost, whatever it takes.

I am still not sure about what I feel. Is it love when their tears feels like dagger stabbing your heart? Is it love when their happiness matter to you and that you can do everything to bring back their smile?

I don't know much about love but this is surely close to that.

---

This story is a work of fiction.

Characters, events, or some of the places are made by the author's mind. Similarities to something or to someone are purely coincidental.

All right reserved.

None of the part of this book should be distributed or copied without the knowledge of the author.

Plagiarism is a crime.